Archive for January, 2009

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Win Your Ex Back: Follow a Five-Step Method

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

Everyone can agree that breakups are cruel and leave behind a mess of feelings from anger to hurt to depression. However, the breakup doesn’t have to be difficult to deal with. If you want a way to move forward with your life easily, use these five steps to win back your ex.

Win Your Ex Back Step 1 – Take Your Time

A big mistake many people make is rushing their ex to decide whether to give them a second chance or not. Actually, this can be very bad. Be sure you don’t give your ex a lot of attention. In fact, don’t talk with or see them for some time that way your ex can gather their thoughts and find out what they want. You may be surprised that space works wonders when you are trying to win them back.

Win Your Ex Back Step 2 – Analyze What Happened

During this no-contact time, you should be trying to figure out the things that went wrong for you in the relationship. While you can’t fix their side of things, you can work on yours. Find out what were the main sticky points that led to the breakup that way if you do get a second chance, those same mistakes won’t rear their ugly heads again.

Win Your Ex Back Step 3 – Light Contact

Okay, so you let a month pass, right? Now this is the time that you can make some contact with your ex. However, don’t get into a long drown out tirade about things. Try keeping the conversation light, asking how they have been and what they have been up to. The worst thing you can do is to plead your case. Take things slow and see how things are from there.

Win Your Ex Back Step 4 – Spend Time Together

Once everything seems kosher with breakup mess, you’re liable to spend time with your ex. Do things as a couple but do them as if you are a new couple. You can always do things that you both used to enjoy together but don’t dwell on the past. Memories of the good times are likely to occur and rekindle those long lost feelings. This is the time to remind your ex how you once were and why they were in love with you in the first place.

Win Your Ex Back Step 5 – Keeping Your Ex

Now that you have your second chance, you have to keep it. The changes you made to win them over have to be kept up. Do it for them and for yourself. If you let your “bad” side show again, you aren’t likely to get a third chance.

You have to make sacrifices when you really love someone. Make sure you meet your partner’s needs and if something seems amiss talk to them about your feelings. You don’t want to let anything fester and ruin your second chance.

 

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5 Helpful Steps to Get Through a Breakup

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

It may look like it’s the end with your ex but it doesn’t have to be that way. Breakups do keep people from moving on with their lives. It is not easy to get through a painful breakup. After all, it’s a life-changing situation. However, when you can keep yourself together by following these five steps listed below, you can continue living and perhaps have your ex in your life again.

Step 1 – Don’t Get Depressed

It’s very important that you do not allow the situation to bring you down into a depression. Depression can keep you from living your life. It’s important that you are with people who care about you and that you can deal with a life-changing event.

Step 2 – Don’t Do Drugs or Alcohol

Alcohol and drugs never do anyone any good when it comes to dealing with your troubles. These items are downers and can lead you to doing bigger mistakes such as drunk dialing. They also worsen any depression feelings you may have.

Step 3 – Break the Contact

Abide by the No Contact rule for a month. It’s very important to do this because it gives you both the time to heal open wounds. This is the time when you can also miss each other too. Distance does make the heart from fonder.

Step 4 – Have a Plan

It’s important, before you start back talking, that you have a plan on what you want out of the relationship and how you will get your ex back. You also want a plan that works so be sure you add in the correct ways to handle matters such as seeing your ex out with other people and whatnot. Once this plan has developed, don’t stop following it.

Step 5 – Acceptance

Remember that not all relationships will work out. You can do everything right by your plan and still not have it come out the way you want it. Not every couple is compatible together so be aware of this fact when you are trying to win back your ex. Find happiness with someone else.

These are just five tips that can help you to get through or win back your ex but there are many more things involved with this topic. The most important thing to remember is to never go blindly trying to win them back. When you do, you are liable to make mistakes that will hurt your chances for a positive outcome.

 

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Why Being Clingy Drives Your Ex Further Away

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

When you are suffering a breakup, everything in your life can turn emotional. It’s normal to make mistakes when trying to deal with. However, it’s important that those mistakes don’t affect the outcome you are hoping for: getting your ex back. There are many things that can drive your ex further away from you. One of the more damaging mistakes includes: being way too clingy.

Don’t ever believe that not being panicked after a breakup doesn’t happen. It does. It’s normal to grab onto something familiar so you can move past the pain and frustration you feel. However, the feeling you have of safety may be exactly the opposite for your ex. When they are tired of dealing with you and the breakup and you “try to smother them with attention”, they may view it as being excessively clingy. You don’t want to do that.

When you latch onto your ex, it can take on many appearances. For instance, if you like to drink to get drunk you may end doing something you regret. It’s called drunk dialing and it’s when you decide to call your ex pouring your heart out and asking them to give you a second chance. You may also repeatedly try to get a hold of your ex by emailing, texting, instant messaging, etc. This is called text message terrorism.

When you do drunk dialing, text messaging or anything of the like… the overall ending won’t be good. In fact, it highlights more deepening troubles than what once was there. The idea is to work through the breakup emotions and deal with the problems that inundated the relationship and you and your ex. When you overwhelm your ex with unwanted attention, it drives them further away.

Do you want your ex back? Then, sit back and handle your own emotion. That means give you and your ex some cool down time… a month will suffice. When you do this, you keep your ex wondering what you are doing and how you have been. It also gives them a chance to miss you. While you are giving them this time, you can also deal with the issues that caused the breakup in the first place. When you do this, you have a greater chance of getting your ex back.

Instead of clinging onto your partner, most couples can reunite as long as they are determined and give the other the space needed to think about things in the relationship. However, before you start talking to your ex, have a plan of attack that will help you win them back and not drive them further away. Remember keep to that plan until everything is back to the way you want it.

 

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3 Possible Reasons Your Girlfriend Leave

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

If your girlfriend has recently dumped you, you’re probably wondering what you said or did to make her leave. If you don’t figure out what happened, you’ll miss your chance to win her back. The first step to fixing your relationship problem is to know what caused the issue to come to the conclusion it came to. Keep this in mind about women:

All women have things they need in a relationship. The same holds true for men. Women want a man to make her happy, feel secure and feel loved. You want to make sure you don’t do anything that jeopardizes her sense of security. There are three things that do just that. It’s imperative that you avoid them if you want your girlfriend to stay with you.

Cheating - When you cheat, you acknowledge that something isn’t right in your relationship. However, instead of dealing with it, you decide that having an affair is the best way to handle it. Don’t do this. If there is a problem within the relationship, talk with her about your concerns. After all, how would you feel if she did it to you? If you cheated on your girlfriend, this could be the deciding factor that drove her away.

Lack of or No Attention - Women love it when their men notice things about them or actually talks and listens to them. You should know that communications with your significant other is imperative. If there is a lack of communications and she notices, she’s likely to feel unsatisfied in the relationship even if everything else is going well. Listen to her when she talks.

Lack of or No Appreciation - Women do a lot more than men tend to give them credit for. Women take their time to look good for their men so appreciate the little things you girlfriend does for you. Be sure you compliment her on her attire or how good on things she has done. Let her know that you do appreciate her doing things for you. If she doesn’t feel like she’s appreciated, she’ll question why she isn’t even trying to be with you.

While most men can figure these three things out on their own, for some, it’s isn’t as clear cut. The second and third items are the basis to making women happy. The first one is just being downright cruel to her. If you love your girlfriend, you should strive to make her happy as much as possible. If not, you may be the one tossed to the side for another guy who can make her happy and sees to her needs.

The above are the 3 possible reasons your girlfriend will not feel happy in a relationship and leave. If you want to win her back, you have to show her that you do care, appreciate and love her. It may take time but it can be done.

 

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3 Tips to Win Back the Love of Your Life

Saturday, January 24th, 2009

If you have ever been through a breakup, you know it’s tough. How you deal with it… that’s an entirely different matter. You’ll find that there is a right way and a wrong way to win back the love of your life. You know to get that second chance you have to continue living life to its fullest even if you don’t feel up to it. You also know that moping around all day doesn’t get you that second chance you are seeking. That means you have to deal with the entire matter as if nothing is wrong. However, how do you do such a thing? By following 3 important tips they include:

(1) Being Active/ Staying Active

It’s true what you hear, “that breaking up is hard to do”. It’s natural to feel the breakup pain. You are only human after all. However, if you want a chance to win back the love of your life, you have to act as if nothing is wrong. Becoming active or staying active is key to keeping depression at bay and feeling somewhat like yourself. Over time, you’ll find that this active lifestyle as helped you physically, emotionally and socially.

(2) Have Some Pride

When you are upset or depressed, it can be easy to feel crummy and look that way too. Why not stay in your bathrobe and eat tubs of ice cream all day and night? If you want to win back the love of your life, you won’t do it by letting yourself go. Instead, get up, exercise and dress well. When you take pride in how you look, you boost your confidence level up. Plus, when you happen to see your ex, you can make them turn a second glance your way.

(3) Get a Support System

Seek out people who love you. It’s best to find those people who have been a lifeline in the past. These are the folks who can bring you back from the brink of disaster. However, be sure you don’t unload on them all the time. Spend time with them and talk but never stay on the same subject.

When you follow these three tips, you are on your way to winning back the love of your life. You know that it’s important to follow them because not doing so can have negative consequences and lose any chance of getting them back in your life. If your goal is to win back the love of your life, then you want to be in the right frame of mind to do so.

 

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3 Likely Reasons Your Relationship Ended

Saturday, January 24th, 2009

When you have been dumped, it’s a natural feeling to feel depressed. After all, who really wants to live life alone? If you are going through a breakup, do you know what caused your breakup? Believe it or not, there are 3 reasons that your relationship could have ended. These 3 things are quite devastating to a relationship, if committed. What are these three never should be done mistakes? They are: adultery, too controlling and unsupportive partners.

Mistake (1) – Adultery 

When you cheat on someone, it leaves a scar on the person you cheated on for a long time. After you break up, they may have a hard time trusting anyone ever again. How the person finds out that the person they are with has committed this sin varies and their reaction varies. However, the pain that is felt is felt the same by all: betrayed. Still, they can recover from the incident and move on.

Mistake (2) – Too Controlling

Some men and women don’t mind a person controlling a relationship but being too controlling in it can be detrimental to the relationship and to the person you are trying to control. Many people chalk it up to being a control freak but when a person is too controlling in the relationship, it can stifle the other person’s personality and make them want to bolt for the door.

Mistake Number (3) – Unsupportive Partners

Everyone has his or her own needs within a relationship. No matter the needs, men and women usually have the same basic want: the desire to be loved. Men look to women to respect them and women look to men to make them feel wanted. When one person does not feel that they are getting their needs met, relationships tend to turn sour.

Many relationships ended due to the 3 main reasons mentioned but if you want your relationship to last, you have to be sure to fix these 3 things in your relationship. If you feel like something is wrong, then it’s time to talk with your significant other before other problems creep up and destroy your chances of a meaningful relationship.

 

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Breakup Aftermath: 3 Ways to Deal with the Emotional Scar

Friday, January 16th, 2009

It’s normal to feel powerful feelings when you deal with the aftermath of a terrible breakup. So much so that you may fall victim to bad behaviors that can bring on terrible problems including the inability to win back your ex. Two very negative influences that alter your ability to think clearly are drugs and alcohol. It’s quite important to stay away from these things if your goal is to win back your ex. So what positive things should you do? There are three things that you should do that will help you deal with the pain in the aftermath.

 

For instance, if you were active before the breakup, stay that way. If you weren’t active beforehand, get active. When you stay active, the stress you feel tends to have less of an impact. However, you should never lose weight or gain weight at an extraordinary pace. Instead, exercise in regular amounts so you keep, not only your body in shape, but your mind as well. When your mind is clear, you can deal with the emotional fallout much easier. You could even find those solutions to the problems you seek answers for.

 

Secondly, find those people who are a healthy outlet for you. Turn to friends who care about you and your family. These are the folks that no matter what are there for you as you are for them. It’s always good to get a few close friends together and go out on the town. Stay busy to avoid the sadness you feel. When you feel it, talk with them about it instead of turning to those negative influences like drugs and alcohol.

 

Lastly, change what you don’t like about yourself. Everyone has something they do not like about themselves. If you happen to not like something, it’s time to change it. Focus on those things so you don’t focus on the pain of the breakup. While you work on improving yourself, you can work on your self-esteem issues too. No doubt the breakup caused you to question your self-worth. When you get this all complete, then you can develop a plan that will win back your ex.

 

No matter how you decide to deal with the breakup aftermath… as long as it is dealt with in a positive manner, you can do what you need to. Find a hobby to enjoy but never escape into negative things such as drugs and alcohol. There are too many things out in life to enjoy. Find those things and you are on your way of getting your ex back.

 

 

 

 

 

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The 2 Common Mistakes People Still Made After a Breakup

Friday, January 16th, 2009

 

The period right after a breakup is usually the hardest people have to deal with. Life can seem rather crazy and it’s rather simple to make those crazy mistakes that can damage any chances of winning back your ex. You may begin to panic and do things you ordinarily would not do. What can these common mistakes be? They are: drunk dialing and text message terrorism.

 

Common Mistake (1) – Drunk Dialing

 

This is done when you have been drinking too much or doing drugs. It’s done when you decide to call your ex in the middle of the night and pour your heart out to them personally or on their answering machine/voicemail. If you are depressed, drinking only encourages you to do this mistake. You may think you are making hedge way into your ex’s life but actually; you are pushing them further away. Plus, you become the psycho ex that won’t take no for an answer.

 

Common Mistake (2) – Text Message Terrorism

 

This text message terrorism should never be done. In some instances, it’s a form of stalking. When you begin to panic, you tend to start doing this. You probably think that calling, texting, emailing or instant messaging your ex every day is a good thing but it’s harassing them to the point that they are liable to change their number or email address. All you show your ex is that you are needy and clingy… basically, you are a psycho ex that needs to be avoided at all cost.

 

When you do these things, you show many sides of yourself to your ex but you should always see yourself. Would you do any one of these things if you thought with a clear head? The answer is…probably not. A bad breakup may turn you into a raving lunatic but as long as you recognize these behaviors you can stop them right away. That means you may have a chance to win back your ex as long as you haven’t already made one too many mistakes.

 

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Text Message Terrorism: Why You Need To Stop?

Friday, January 16th, 2009

 

When you love someone and they leave, you’ll do whatever you can to win them back. However, finding that right anything can be a little tricky. You may find that your tactics are a bit more extreme than they need to be. One tactic you may try is to repeatedly call or get in touch with your ex. However, this is a big mistake. It’s called Text Message Terrorism and should be stop.

 

How is text message terrorism defined? Think of it this way… you call your ex many times in one day, thinking that if you stay on their mind, they’ll change their mind and come back to you. What you are essentially doing is driving your ex insane and running away from you.

 

Text message terrorism is limited to calling by phone or text messages. It can be done in many ways including: emails, voicemail or answering machines, messages via popular social websites, instant messages, being in places your ex is likely to be and contacting friends of your ex when you can’t get in contact with them.

 

Text message terrorism is a form of stalking. You may have every good intention of winning them back. However, trying to resolve those issues and put your relationship back on track won’t be done through this way.

 

Try looking at the situation through your ex’s perception. What kind of impression does this leave on you? Would you want to give your ex another chance who can’t stop calling you or who won’t leave you alone long enough to take a deep breathe and relax. Chances are you won’t and neither will your ex.

 

There are more positive ways to win back your ex, starting with giving your ex the break he or she needs to think about things. That means no contact, no text message terrorism for a bit of time… usually a month will do. After this month is over, contact your ex sparingly until you can gauge how things are going between the both of you.

 

 

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Winning Back Your Ex? 3 Mistakes You Need to Avoid

Friday, January 16th, 2009

Desperation, neediness, grumpiness, depression… these are the signs of a bad breakup. When someone is suffering from this problem, they may act in ways that just does not seem like themselves. Actually, this is normal but should be watched in case it leads to bigger problems such as drugs and alcohol. Using these substances can lead to even more devastating issues. It’s important that you know what you should not do when winning back your ex is your intention.

 

Mistake Breakups (1) – Excessive Attention

 

While your motives mean well, the damage is already done and is still being done when you shower your ex with too much affection. Remember your other half was essentially asking you for some time away by breaking up with you. Give them this space they are “asking” you for. When you don’t, you’re telling them that you are a psycho and desperate for their attention. You should know it is a bad idea and that you should avoid.

 

Mistake Breakups (2) – Drunk Dialing

 

One of the first things you need to lay off of is alcohol and drugs. When you are hit with the realization that you are alone, depression can hit. When depression hits, alcohol, drugs or both aren’t too far behind. When you use these substances, you could be susceptible to drunken dialing. It’s those late night phone calls to your ex, begging them to give you a second chance. You aren’t too sure what to say to get them to change their mind so you’ll say whatever pops into your mind and out of your mouth. This outburst of emotion does little for you and little for your “real” position. You won’t even realize you have done it until the morning or when someone tells you that you did it.

 

Mistake Breakups (3) – Text Message Terrorism

 

You don’t have to be in your ex’s presence to make matters bad. In fact, all you have to do is repeatedly call, text message, instant message, email, etc. them each day. When you do this, you basically say that you are a psycho and are stalking them. Don’t do this. If you want any chance of winning your ex back, you should stop this before it goes way too far.

 

 

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