Archive for March, 2009

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Surviving a Breakup: 5 Steps to Help You Cope

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

A breakup can take its toll on anyone who suffers one. It makes some people stop living because the pain is too much to bear. All you want to do is get a second chance with your ex. The pain, however hard it may be, should not stop you from living your life and getting a second chance with your ex. There are 5 tips to help you survive your breakup and achieve that objective.

 

(1)  Staying Active

It is very important to stay active even though all you want to do is sit on the couch, watch sad movies and eat ice cream all day long. This kind of behavior does not help your cause. Instead, get out and about. See your family and friends and earn their respect as well as the respect of your ex.

 

(2)  Avoid Negative Behavior

Don’t start drinking or using drugs to cope with the breakup. These things will only hurt your chances to getting back together with your ex. It may also lead you to doing some “drunk dialing”. That means calling your ex late at night and pouring your heart out. Nope. This is not a good route.

 

(3)  Avoid Contact

Do not go out of your way to see your ex for some time. If you try to talk with them during the initial breakup, it just adds to the stress you and your ex are feeling. Instead, stay away and don’t talk which can make your ex miss you. Isn’t that what you want after all?

 

(4)  Put Together a Plan

If you want a second chance with your ex, you’ll want to put together a plan that achieves that. Don’t let your emotions rule over you. Instead, follow your mind in this case. Keep to the plan no matter how lonely you feel.

 

(5)  Disappointment

Sometimes relationships don’t always work out. If this happens, don’t feel disappointed about it. Remember this phrase… when one door shuts, another door opens. There is someone out there for you. You just need to look.

 

Instead of mopping over your ex, you need to learn to get over it with grace and dignity. However, when he or she decides to come back around, make him work for your attention. Surviving a breakup is not an easy thing to do for some but there’s no point crying over some losers who do not deserve you.

 

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How to Get over Your Breakup Pain: 5 Best Tips

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

It can be difficult to put yourself back together when you have been dumped. You’ll do everything you can to make things better for yourself. However, you may not realize that you can get over your ex easily. All you need to have are five simple tips that can help you get over the break up pain.

 

(1)  Stays Social – You don’t want the pain to overtake your life. This is the time to keep living it. So get off the couch, get dressed up, call some really good friends up and get out of the house. The best thing for you is to enjoy life like you did before the relationship even started.

 

(2)  Avoid Negative Outlets – The worst things you can do for yourself is drink or do drugs. Even though they are a temporary fix for how you feel, they can impair your judgment to the point of humiliation. Don’t do any of these until you have dealt with the pain. Stay away from all these is best.

 

(3)  Cutting off Contact – Give you and your ex some space for about a month. If you work together or have classes together, then just be civil to one another. However, if you continue to see each other so soon after the breakup, you won’t have the chance to miss your ex. Emotions are running high after a breakup. Hurtful things can be said at this time so avoid your ex at all costs.

 

(4)  Devise a Plan – Come up with a plan of action and whatever you do, do not stop following it. If you decide not to contact your ex for a month, keep to it. Follow your mind and not your heart in matters such as these. Though this is a difficult time, you have the power to see these things through.

 

(5)  Acceptance – Make sure you understand that not everybody is meant to be together. Sometimes situations do not allow for people to make it together. When you realize your relationship is doomed for failure, be an adult about it and move on.

 

The above 5 tips will help you to get over the breakup pain while helping you to get your ex back or move on in your life.

 

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Getting Your Ex Back? Stop These 5 Silly Mistakes

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

When you have been dumped, your life can feel completely out of control but this out of control feeling does not have to ruin your chances of getting your ex back. As long you deal with the hurt, you can keep from damaging the possibility of getting them back. However, you need to steer clear of several common mistakes that can destroy your chance of convincing your ex to give you a second chance.

 

Do not go with your first instincts right after you have been dumped. Why? It’s like a rug being yanked out from underneath you, you begin to panic. You’ll do whatever comes to your mind to save your relationship. However, anything like this, can actually hurt you rather than help you get your ex back. There are five common mistakes you should avoid doing right after the break up.

 

(1)  Stop Stressing Yourself

 

It’s not hard to stress over the things you can’t help. However, all you are doing is adding those wrinkle worry lines to your face and driving people close to you nuts. If you really want to get your ex back, you’ll have to push aside how you really feel and start dealing with it. Be sure to get motivated about getting him or her back. You should already know that time isn’t going to fix the issue; you are going to have to deal with it yourself.

 

(2)  Fall Back Into the Routine

 

If you and your ex want to make another go of the relationship, don’t act like everything is good. If you pick up from where you left off, you still have the problems that plagued you both the first time around. Saying sorry isn’t going to fix all your issues. If getting your ex back is what you really want then you better put a ton of effort into making the relationship work.

 

(3)  Don’t Purse If Your Ex Moves On

 

It’s not hard to see that as time passes the further and further away your chances become to get your ex back. If it looks like he or she has moved on without you, walk away. Don’t purse them because it makes you look like a psycho and you could be charged with stalking. If your ex recently got married or will be getting married, it’s a sign that you need to stop trying to bring you two back together. Yes, it may hurt. However, not everyone is meant to be. You have to accept that life does continue without them in your life.

 

(4)  Don’t be Aggressive

 

Sometimes a little aggressiveness is a good trait. However, after you have broken up, being aggressive just add stress to you and your ex’s plate. If you want to get your ex back, do it smoothly and gently. Don’t speak about feelings or show attention all the time. Why? This only acerbates the feeling of uneasy and aggressiveness.

 

(5)  Make Your Own Changes

 

Understand that a breakup is a two way street. Look to yourself to find out what you did wrong in the relationship. If you do make changes, keep yourself in check. If you are getting back together or have gotten back together, the last thing you want to do is revert back to your old self. Doing this is kind of like lying and the chances of a breakup occurring again are possible.

 

These may seem like pretty easy and avoidable mistakes; however, there are many people who make them. It’s very important to resolve any issues in the relationship you have before you try getting your ex back. If you can avoid these 5 mistakes, then you do have a fighting shot.

 

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You Can Get Your Ex Back – Why You Need to Move On Now?

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

It’s tough to deal with a breakup. When one occurs, people become paralyzed, afraid to go on with life. Afraid that if they do they’ll lose the chance to get their ex back. Don’t believe that moving means giving up. They are not the same thing. If you want to get your ex back, it is best to move on. How is that possible, right?

 

What does moving on really mean? It does not mean you are giving up on the chance to get a second chance, it means you are showing yourself, your ex, friends, family and the world that you can live without your ex beside you. However, the problem that people are facing is distinguishing the difference between the two. This keeps people from doing the best thing for themselves and their ex after the breakup.

 

If you move on, you not only help yourself deal with the breakup aftermath but you can fully assess the feelings for your ex, your life and how they come together and mesh. If your ex sees you moving on and getting on with life without them, the chances of him or her feeling the same way are great. If you look as if the breakup meant nothing, they’ll certainly feel as if they never should have been without you in the first place.

 

You don’t have to feel like you are moving on, but don’t force it either. Show the strength that you feel like you don’t have to everyone else; to those who are close to you including your ex and your close circle of family and friends. Showing it makes you look more eye-catching. They may begin to treat you better than ever and your ex may wonder why he or she broke up with you.

 

How can you put up a front that you’ve moved on especially if you don’t feel like it? There’s 2 ways you can do this.

 

(1)  Take care of your appearance - Change your appearance to look better. Buy clothes that flatter your looks. If you need it, start a diet and get some exercise. Lose those unwanted pounds that seem to trip you up. You can also get a haircut or a brand new hair style. If you don’t like to smile because of an imperfection, then gets something done about it. There are so many things that you can change about yourself. Pick out a few that you think you need to change first.

 

(2)  Get a social life - Don’t let the breakup pain stop you from living your life. You don’t want it to completely take over your life. You may not want to live life without them but you need to show them that you can. Go out with your friends. Surround yourself with people who can give you a healthy outlet. If you force yourself to have a good time, you may find yourself having a good time on your own without having to force it.

 

If you combine these two things together, you’ll find yourselves beating off other people who would like to know who you are. Do you have to go out with them? No, you don’t. The interest alone that you’ll get will help you feel confident and good in yourself.

 

If you act like you’re moving on, you’ll find yourself wondering if you really want to get your ex back or if you want to move on and find someone else you want to be with. If you can show him or her how you are now, it may make them take a second glance and want to have a second chance. Try it, it works!

 

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Stop My Divorce – 5 Steps to Help You Win Your Spouse Back

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

“How can I stop my divorce?” This is question you may be asking yourself if you and your spouse are in the midst of a divorce. If you are suffering through a bad breakup with your husband or wife but still love them intensely, it can be difficult to know what you can do or say to stop a divorce. After all, there can be some hard feelings you have to work through and get past to get your message across to your significant other. So, ask yourself once more, “How can I stop my divorce” and follow these simple tips to help you achieve this goal.

Stop My Divorce Tip #1 – Don’t Beg/Don’t Plead Your Case

It’s common for people who don’t want to get divorced to plead their case to their spouse. However, they don’t realize that the pleading they are doing is falling on deaf ears. Your spouse doesn’t want to hear what you have to say about stopping the divorce. They are seeing you acting desperate and needy, which is not how you want to come across at that moment. Instead, stay confident about things and find another way to win your spouse back.

Stop My Divorce Tip #2 – Arguing Your Case

Believe it or not, arguing your case doesn’t do any good. You need to keep in mind that there are feelings of hurt and anger. When you argue your case, even when you make a good point, your spouse is likely to get even angrier. Find another way to get through to them.

Stop My Divorce Tip #3 – Stop Insisting You Love Them

Your marriage was the time to insist to your spouse that you loved them. It was then you had to show them that you still cared for their feelings and that you loved them with all your heart. Now that your significant other is making a stand and leaving you, you shouldn’t try to convince them and yourself that you still love them. Wait until another time and find another way.

Stop My Divorce Tip #4 – Making Promises You Won’t Keep

If you kept making promises in your marriage but kept on breaking them, then there is no way to convince your significant other with more promises. In fact, you’ll only turn them off from you by making promises they suspect from past experiences that you won’t keep. Avoid making these promises and find another way to win the love of your life back.

Stop My Divorce Tip #5 – Give Your Significant Other Space

One of the first things you should do if you want to stop your divorce is to give your spouse some space. This is the time you need to create a plan that doesn’t involve the pleading, begging, insistence, promises and arguments. If you are asking yourself, “How do I stop my divorce”, the best thing you can do is to let your spouse figure things out for themselves while you do the same thing for yourself.

 

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Emotional Scale: How to Determine If Your Ex Wants You Back

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

If you want your ex back, it can be hard to know if the relationship even worth going after. After all, you’ve been dumped; your ex doesn’t want you back, right? Not always so. Your ex may want you; they may just need some time to figure this out on their own. Yet, how are you to know if there are any feelings left for you?

Actually, it’s pretty easy to figure out if your ex still has feelings for you. It doesn’t take a science degree to figure it out. All it takes is some knowledge about the emotional scale. Emotional scale? What’s this? It’s what lets people know how a person feels about them based on the different ranges. Love being on one side of the scale and hate on the opposite end. When you look at the scale, you can make these two emotions like this: intense (love)/ indifference (hate).

When a person has no real feelings for another person, they fall on the indifference side of the scale. However, when a person has strong feelings for someone, they fall to the inside side of the scale. How do you discern where you fall on this love/hate measurement? Start by watching how your ex acts toward you. Does it seem like you can talk as you did before or does the reception seem chilly?

Look at it like this: When you call your ex, does it seem like they never answer or are in a hurry to get off the phone with you? Does it seem like you are always the one calling? If so, then it’s probable that you are on the indifference side of the scale. You may have little chance to win your ex back when you are on this side.

However, if your ex calls you or doesn’t mind you contacting them, you still have a winning shot to get them back. It means they do still care about you and how you are doing. It may take some doing and you will definitely need a plan, but you can win your ex back. All you need to do is to stay off the indifference side of the scale.

 

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Top Reason Why Men Leave Loving Relationships

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

Many women have no idea why men leave a relationship? It’s the one thing women will ponder on many days after a relationship ends. “Why did my man leave me?” If you have ever wondered why a man leaves you especially when it isn’t apparent, you may wonder if you have a chance to win them back. The answer to why your man left may surprise you but you can take it to heart and start to win them back.

Women may not realize it but men, even when they do the dumping in the relationship, feel pain. They have the need to talk with someone about how they feel. Sometimes they speak to friends; sometimes they go to a therapist. They are always asked what made them leave the relationship in the first place. The answer they give is very important especially if you want to know how you and your ex can get back together.

What was the answer to this ever-important question? “I never could make her happy”. Rarely is cheating a cause for the man to walk out on the relationship nor is having a huge argument another reason. It’s typically the feeling that no matter what he does; he can never make his woman happy. For that, he simply gave up and walked out on the relationship. It doesn’t matter if that’s really true…it’s how he felt.

Why is it so important for a man to feel like he’s making his woman happy? It’s a little thing called ego that lets him know that he is admired and is important. He wants to know that everything he does is special to his woman, despite any hardships they may have. If he feels like his life means something to his woman then everything else going on pales in comparison. This is why it’s so important to make a man feel loved and needed so it’s your job to make him feel like he is making you happy. For more information you can visit Man Made Easy.

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5 Top Reasons Why People Are Turning To Relationship Advice Online

Sunday, March 1st, 2009

When your relationship is on the rocks, you may wonder if you can save it. You may wonder if there is anything you can do to bring back the love of your life to you. Sometimes, it takes more than just talking with each other to sort things out. Sometimes, it takes someone outside the relationship to bring you back together. If going out and seeking help doesn’t seem like the answer, this is when you need to find relationship advice online.

The Internet has so much information on it that it is of no surprise that you can find relationship advice online. There are many websites available that can lend you a hand and help in repairing your relationship or figuring out what certain things mean in a relationship.

5 Top Reasons People Use Relationship Advice Online

There are five primary reasons why people are turning the Internet to seek relationship advice online. Many of them are for social reasons, other reasons for convenience. Either way, no doubt the number of people seeking relationship advice online is climbing. So what are the reasons people are turning to the Internet for advice?

First, there’s a stigma that comes with seeking outside advice for relationship issues. For many people, it’s letting people know that you are having problems. When you see a therapist, you have to go inside their office to get counseled. People may be afraid that they’ll run into a person they know as they go in or out of the building their therapist is located in. With getting relationship advice online, there isn’t the social stigma associated with seeking professional help.

Second, relationship advice online is a way to keep problems in the relationship private. If both you and your significant other are private people, using an online relationship therapist keeps the problems within your household and the person or people behind the computer screen.

Third, there’s no need to get ready for your appointment. You can stay in your pajamas with your hair curled up and get the advice you need to work out your relationship problems.

Fourth, seeking relationship advice online can save you time. Not only do you not have to get ready for the appointment, you can also not worry with getting ready to leave the house. It saves you time and gas because you don’t have to deal with traffic.

Fifth, you don’t have to pay enormous fees to see a therapist. Instead, you may pay a low monthly fee or get free relationship advice online. When you go out to a therapist, you are likely to pay more than $50 per visit.  In this failing economy, who has that kind of money to spend, even if it’s for a good cause?

How can you get relationship advice online? You can get relationship advice online by joining a live feed or chat room. When you do it this way, you are likely to pay a small fee but you get the advice you need from people who care. You can also obtain relationship advice online by signing up for weekly or daily e-mails from a website. You can also get multiple e-mails from different websites, which means you aren’t limited to one therapist if you choose not to be.

Are you thinking non-stop why you and your ex broke up? There is hope you could even win him or her back and recapture their hearts, mind and soul?

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3 Top Reasons Relationship Depression Starts and How to Overcome It

Sunday, March 1st, 2009

Did you know that depression in a relationship is quite common? It usually means that something is wrong in the relationship that one or both people acknowledge but do not know how to change the problem. When depression in a relationship happens, it’s essential that it gets fixed or the relationship may completely dissolve. Many bad relationships are the cause behind relationship depression.

How Does Relationship Depression Start?

What causes depression in a relationship to begin? Actually, there are three main causes as to why relationship depression begins. They include:

(1)  Letdown Feelings - Many times relationship depression begins when one person has been let down by their significant other. Their dreams have not been fulfilled and they no longer feel hopeful staying in the relationship.

(2)  Loss of Control - It can also occur when one person is too controlling over the relationship. The person becoming depressed in the relationship has to do things a certain way including selection of clothes, cooking, cleaning the house, etc. Too much power is given to one person and the other feels insignificant. Thus relationship depression begins because the dominated person has no control over his or her own life.

(3)  Pretending - Sometimes, when a relationship begins, people don’t act like themselves. They tend to hide who they are for fear of rejection or opening up. If you are like this, it’s likely that you feel that revealing who you really are will make your partner leave you. When you aren’t yourself, you lead yourself into a relationship depression. After all, the relationship is based on a lie and no one can lie about who they really are without becoming depressed.

You Can Stave Off Relationship Depression

A person who is depressed in a relationship will need considerable help getting over it. There are ways this can be done and it will take patience. If you know someone who is in a relationship depression, here are some things you can do.

First, be around for them. It’s important to be a friend and listen to them whenever they are ready to talk. They need to feel like someone is on their side so do so for them.

Second, help them out physically around the house. They don’t feel like doing much when they are depressed and this goes for chores too. Lend them a hand until they feel up to doing things once more.

Third, make sure they get up out of bed. While this may seem easy to you, when a person is suffering depression in a relationship, they are going to need a little extra push.

Fourth, remember to love them unconditionally, with no strings attached. It’s normal to feel frustrated by the relationship depression but they have to know that you are not upset with them by the situation, only about the situation itself.

Fifth, find some outside help. Often times, just talking about the problem that’s causing the relationship depression can help. Other times, people will need medication to overcome their depression. Don’t be afraid to seek out help if you feel it goes beyond what you can do.

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Top 5 Sure Ways to Saving a Relationship

Sunday, March 1st, 2009

Are you in the process of saving a relationship? Do you know how you can do this without further damaging the already fragile state that the relationship is in? When people are in the process of saving a relationship, they may say the wrong things that make the situation worse and any plan they have to save it backfire. How do you know what to say that will stop things from getting worse? Here are some things you should know if you are saving a relationship.

(1)  Blame

First and most important, do not lay blame. Stop accusing one another and stop judging each other. If you are working towards saving a relationship, you can’t do this when you are blaming each other for problems that arise in the relationship. When you attack each other, the other person will go into defensive mode and the fight escalates. This is when both of you need to step back and realize that both of you are to blame. Only then can you continue saving a relationship.

(2) Find the Problem

It’s important to find the underlying problem that’s plaguing you both. If cheating happens to be a reason you both are fighting, then it’s likely that is not the underlying problem. Was there something wrong in the relationship in the first place that caused your significant other to go outside the relationship? It’s time to sit down and be critical of your relationship. Find the problem and begin to work on correcting it.

(3) Time Alone

Many couples find it hard to spend time together. Careers often get in the way of family and kids often get in the way of one on one time with each other. When a couple doesn’t have time for one another, it can lead to cheating and other heartbreaks. If this seems to be an issue, it’s time to make time for each other. If children seem to stop you from spending time with each other, hire a babysitter to take them off your hands for a bit. If careers are the problem, you may want to look at how you can spend quality time together without it interfering.

(4) Communication

After you both have worked through those underlying issues, it’s time to communicate. This is the time to really listen and talk. Only one of you should speak at a time so that you can make your point known. This is the time to reveal your feelings. Make sure you are within touching distance as this is supposed to be an intimate time together. If you are serious about saving a relationship, it’s important to get close.

(5) Make Plan to Win Them Back

If you are interested in saving a relationship, then it’s time to put together a plan that brings it back to a healthy ground. When you have a plan, you know what you need to do to get your relationship back on track. Try to schedules dates when you aren’t with the kids. Find quality time to spend together even if it’s just to talk. Your plan on saving a relationship will reap big rewards. After all, you can strengthen the bond you both want to have by being together and actually, being together.

 

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