Archive for October, 2009

Men Loves to Hear These Words from Women

Friday, October 30th, 2009

After asking many men, “Why did you leave her?” the result was an amazingly simple yet a distressing answer: “She wasn’t happy with me anymore. Everything I’ve tried -all the things that used to make her happy – she ignores and acts miserable.”

From the time man was considered a Neanderthal and lived in caves, a man’s role was to be a provider. While society may have been adjusted to when the Neanderthal chose a mate, the role a man has and the desire to feel needed, as the caretaker still exists. By being able to provide, a man fulfills his sense of being needed. One of the aspects a man brings in his role as provider is to make his companion happy.

When a man can no longer fulfill his role he will leave. If he can’t make his companion happy, he will go somewhere else or to someone that he can make happy.

What can you do?

It’s simple, really. Make him feel appreciated with your words. Open a channel of communication that you may have closed. If he makes you happy, be sure he knows it. Simple ways of doing this are: to say words like, “Thank you” to smile and laugh at his jokes; to show your appreciations by doing something for him; to tell him in plain words, “You make me so happy, I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you in my life.”

Almost all men are oblivious to hints so if you’re not letting him know point blank that you’re happy with him and what he does for you, you may be on the track to losing him.

If you don’t want that to happen to you, the above paragraph is a simple solution to how you can reel him back in before he cuts the line. Take the time to let him know with your gentle words. Show him you care. Play the role of needing him as much as he needs to be needed.

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Let’s Just Be Friends? What Does it Mean?

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

You’re the world one moment and the next you’re nothing. Is that really possible? Just days ago you were talking about how you and your boyfriend were going to be together forever because you knew you loved each other and then today he suddenly breaks it off, saying perhaps ‘lets just be friends‘.

He’s confused. That is the most likely answer to the question you’re asking. He most likely doesn’t know what he’s feeling so there’s no point in you asking him. However, there is a way for you to figure out his feelings by imagining a “scale of emotions.” You can figure out what he’s feeling by the way he reacts to you after your breakup.

He hasnt called?  Sending a lot of text messages?  Has he gone out of his way to bump into you on the street just to say hi and see how you’re doing?  If you answered “no” to all these questions, it’s likely what he really meant by let’s just be friends and has lost that spark of interest towards you and is just indifferent. If you answered, “Yes” to any or all of those questions, it’s likely he’s still into you; he might just not know how to go about understanding his feelings.

Yes, he confuses you with his actions because he still treats you like his girlfriend more than an ex. No, he’s not being cruel or trying to torture you. Be patient with him. Perhaps, after time when he’s back to being more normal than not, you should take that first step and ask him to lunch and talk to him. Lets just be friends is not what you want to hear from him. Let him know where you stand and he just might come around to seeing where he stands.

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Does He Love Me? How to Know

Monday, October 26th, 2009

When Cindy’s boyfriend broke up with her he admitted he was a little confused with his feelings and that perhaps they should split up. Cindy wanted to ensure they could still be friends so she asked. He agreed. However, a few days later Cindy hadn’t heard anything from her ex other than that he was going to send her things to her. She was, of course devastated and debated on whether or not to try contacting her ex again. She wondered if she was wasting her time, hoping he’d come around ‘does he love me?’ and realize he still loved her. She didn’t know where she stood in regards to his feelings.

Suddenly Cindy was getting text messages and eventually her ex called her back, admitting how much he missed her. She was shocked and thought by this time that she was destined to only be a long distance friend with her ex; that they would remain indifferent to one another until they passed on the streets and had no choice but to acknowledge each other.

However, if Cindy had taken a step back to look at how often her ex contacted her (after the little bit of time separation that he needed) she would have realized that he still cared about her. Not only was he sending hints in his messages but also the fact that he was sending her messages often was a clue that Cindy was placed on the indifferent side of the “Scale of Emotions.”

When Cindy thought about her situation she realized there was a spectrum of emotions her ex-boyfriend was dealing with and he was trying to figure out where to place her -even though he didn’t know it. On the “Scale of Emotions” there exist a variety of feelings towards a person that could determine if a relationship could be mended or not.  On one end is an indifferent feeling or apathy. On the other end are the stronger emotions of passion: love and hate. Does he love me? You can find where you stand on the spectrum of your ex’s emotions by realizing the amount of contact you’ve had since the breakup and the content of the contact.

If he keeps mentioning he wants to see you, it’s very likely ‘he does love me’ still has feelings for you.  He might just need a push to realize it. Ask him to meet you for coffee. You taking that first step just might put his true feelings in perspective.

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My Boyfriend Left – Why He Left?

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Do you want to know the secret to why he left you for some other girl?  Look no further.  Herein lays the secret to why he left you and how you can get him back.

When a guy leaves a girl, it’s rarely for a supercilious or superficial reason like “She’s more attractive than my ex” or “She has more money.”  In fact, you might be surprised as to the reason why he left.

“I just couldn’t make her happy anymore”. A man’s self-assurance rests in how others respond to him. If he works hard repairing the car, he’s going to want to be complimented on that. When he tries to do something to make you happy, he’s going to want to see the results of that. Guys like results. If there is a problem, they fix it because it shows a result. If a guy doesn’t see results, he’s going to feel like he’s failing at his job.

I hope you’re getting the message. If you don’t let him know that you’re happy, proud, pleased, grateful or appreciative – however you want to put it – with him, he’s going to want to give up and get out.

Take into consideration your feelings on the subject. If he doesn’t compliment you on how you look, don’t you start to feel less attractive and wonder if he is still even attracted to you? When you don’t let him know you’re happy, he starts to feel he doesn’t make you happy any longer and will move on to someone he can make happy.

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