Archive for February, 2010

Why Too Much Contact Ruin Your Chance

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

What should you do now?  Feeling desperate and alone and lost.  Generally our first reaction is going to be to go back to the one we love to help us through this turmoil of emotions.  Unfortunately, if you’re feeling this way because of a breakup, you’re first instinct is going to be wrong.

If you were just left by someone you love know that you’re not alone.  Many people have learned the success to get back your ex husband (if you so choose) is to give him some time and space. This will only have good effects. But on the other end of remaining too close are going to have the following results:

Number and level of fights are going to increase.  This is sure to happen because your ex is going to be angry, you’re going to be angry and all around feelings are just going to be angry.  You’re both hurt and will try to defend yourselves with harsh words.  Distance will prevent more damage instead of getting back together with your ex husband.

Because your emotions won’t be under control (because you didn’t take the time to learn to control them) you’re very likely going to just end up looking clingy if not desperate.  Neither will convince your ex he should take you back.  Taking time away from him gives you the chance to control those stray emotions and your ex husband will have time to calm down a bit.  Being apart is much healthier than struggling with the constant pain that will be around if you stick around him.

It’s possible that your ex husband would start taking advantage of you, too.  If he’s “getting” you without having the rest of you, he’s taking advantage of you and you’re ruining a chance to make him realize he needs or wants you back in his life.  He needs to realize all consequences of not having you in his life. Visit http://marriagecure.com for more information.

Tags: ,
Posted in Save Marriage/Save Relationship | No Comments »

Reconciliation with Your Ex? Breakup Mistakes You Should Avoid

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

A breakup is the least pleasant event to go through in your life but it’s bound to happen to us one time or another.  So when it does happen, be sure you’re prepared to deal with the emotions that are likely to overcome you.  If you want to get back with your ex, you’re going to need to know what mistakes to avoid when your emotions hit you and desperation attacks.

Constantly clinging to your ex is the first thing to avoid.  Your ex needs time so when you are constantly in his/her face for whatever reason.  Your ex is going to pull away from you even more if you don’t give him/her that space.

Making a phone call in the middle of the night is never a good idea; it’s even a worse idea when you’re calling an ex and you’ve either had something to drink, or your emotions are clouding your sense and reasoning.  Often referred to as “drunk dialing”, this action shows your instability to your ex as well as irritates him/her for having to wake up in the middle of the night.  When you let something like this happen, it’s going to be hard to make up because you’re already on the road to pushing your ex away when you’re trying to pull him/her closer.

Physical clinging isn’t the only way to cling to your ex.  You can virtually cling to your ex with texting, emails, voicemails or any other way you try to talk to your ex excessively.  You may just be curious to see how your ex is doing but your intentions can easily be misread when your ex already has bad feelings towards you.  Cut off all of this communication because you’re only driving your ex further away.

Let your ex go for a short while.  He/she might just need a chance to clear his/her head, which can’t happen if you barrage them with any of these actions.  When your ex has the time to heal so do you and you’ll both have a chance to think about relationship and if you want to continue it.  The only way to get your ex back after the breakup and have a healthy relationship again is to heal and not make these mistakes.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Making Up After A Break Up | No Comments »

Get Your Ex Back – Do’s and Don’ts

Saturday, February 20th, 2010

With anxiety and worry plaguing your thoughts that you’re never going to see your ex again, when you desperately want him back, they are going to lead you into acting the part of desperate.  If you want to get your ex back, it’s important that you act the opposite of how you’re feeling. 

Oftentimes, your actions can change how you feel.  Just think you’re okay and you’re more likely to make it through.  That’s not all the advice you need, though, because reading that you can be happy after a breakup and learning how to be happy after a breakup are different. 

Following are some dos and don’ts that will help you through this tough time.

Don’t:
- Don’t let emotion control you and don’t let depression swamp you.
- Don’t panic that you’re never going to see your ex again if he doesn’t contact you within three days.  He needs time and so do you.
- Don’t get lazy and let your life fall apart.
- Don’t become the clingy desperate ex that can be taken advantage of.

Do:
- Take some time to heal.  Even if you don’t want your ex back, being able to move on requires learning how to trust again. This is hard when you’re heartbroken.  However, it’s possible, so don’t let the impending doom of eternal unhappiness bog you down.
- Distract yourself in a healthy way.  If you do this you’re more likely to gain control of yourself and your emotions.
- Do maintain your appearances and keep putting effort into your daily routine.

Following these simple words of advice can make your breakup pain pass a little quicker.  You’ll have moments of breaking down and needing to cry but you’ll still be able to move on and you’ll eventually get stronger.  Not to mention, if you want to get your ex back, following this advice will help you in that endeavor.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Get Back Your Ex | No Comments »

To Get Back Together? First Changing to Change Your Ex’s Mind

Monday, February 15th, 2010

Because of human nature we try to change people to fit our needs or become who we think would make them better.  Generally, this just doesn’t work.  Couples often find that because one tried to change the other, they just don’t cope well together any longer.  Independence is important to people so when they’re forced to change, they’re going to be unhappy and resentful.  After a couple splits up, if one tries to change the other and not themselves, there will be bad consequences.

Generally a breakup is due to both members of the relationship and one just felt there were no more options to fixing the situation.  If you want to get back with your ex you’re going to have to be the one to do the fixing.  Show your ex that you can still change for the bettering of the relationship.

Though it might not seem fair, take into consideration that you’re the one that wants to get back with your ex.  If you want something… you have to work for it.  Think of what you can do on a personal level that would make a difference to your ex.

You don’t have to do all the changing, just enough to get your ex to realize you’re serious about making your relationship work.  Your ex will become comfortable with changing when he/she no longer feels like he/she is taking a huge risk in putting his/her trust in you again.

Basically the saying “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself” holds true in this sort of situation because you’re looking to make a foundation for something that takes a lot of work.  Trust only in yourself to make the foundation you want for your relationship.  Your ex will realize the hard work you’ve put into maintaining a relationship and will likely be willing to try again.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Making Up After A Break Up | No Comments »

Some Silly Mistakes to Avoid After a Breakup

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

We’ve all done things we’ve regretted be it from speaking your mind passionately about a subject and realizing the people to whom you were preaching were actually talking about something else to such moments as calling your ex late at night after a breakup with no plan or idea of what to say because your reasoning is non-existent with three shots of tequila in your system.

Chances are you’re reading this because of the latter experience or you want to avoid it.  To avoid, you must first understand and recognize what sort of mistakes exist that could cost you the chance to get back your ex.

Clinging to your ex – Being clingy doesn’t mean you’re attached to the right arm of your ex and never let him out of your sight (though that does fall under a category of clingy) but rather not letting your ex go by calling, texting, or just being a nuisance to your ex.

The greatest success stories of getting an ex back are from those that stepped away from their ex and relationship long enough to put their lives back together.  When you do take the time to step back you’re showing your respect of your ex’s decisions, which can make him realize you care about his opinion and even trust him.

Continuous contact with your ex after a breakup can easily be construed as harassment.  The constant messages, calls and emails are related to being clingy, as well, only this sort of aggravation will make your ex reconsider what he ever saw in you instead of just reconsidering getting back with you.

Allowing your emotions to be in command over your reasoning is a mistake because it can lead to all the mistakes you can make.  It’s natural and okay to feel hurt—in fact, it’s human—nevertheless, it’s important to keep a reign on your feelings so you can move pass them and find strength to move on.

Turning to drugs and alcohol for the purpose of numbing your pain is also a bad idea.  This shows weakness and inability to cope with feelings.  Generally this is a big turn off for your ex because it leads to you doing embarrassing things to get your ex back.

Another mistake is to think that your ex is going to change for you after a breakup.  Your ex is basically done and if you want him back, you have to show him you aren’t done.  If he sees that you’re willing to make some sacrifices, he’s likely to be willing to do the same and try over again to make your relationship work.  You can get your ex back, however, don’t change for him, but rather for yourself.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Making Up After A Break Up | No Comments »

How to Cure and Mend Broken Heart

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

It’s hard to exaggerate the pain of a breakup.  After the shock hits you, you’ll find yourself overwhelmed by too many emotions to make sense of: anger, confusion, disbelief and resentment but all of it leading to misery.  At this point, you’re extremely vulnerable and you’re at risk of tipping into a steep decline.  Don’t let that happen.  Try these ways of picking yourself up and making a start at rebuilding your life.

For one thing you should get active.  Don’t sit about letting the sadness do its insidious work on you. That’s no way to escape the hurt. Jog, swim and work out. The body’s fantastic natural drug, endorphins, will kick in and leave you feeling healthier, happier and more attractive.

Don’t neglect your social life.  We all need interaction and we thrive on the support and companionship of family and friends.  They’re the most important people around you for the moment.  I know people say you don’t have to be alone to be lonely.  But if you let yourself be alone, it’s far more likely that loneliness will be the result.

If you can force yourself to stand up, dress up and step out for a good night on the town or even for a quiet night in with friends, you’ll gradually start to see some perspective returning to your life.  Yes, he was important but he wasn’t everything.  There’s a lot more richness in your life than you realized.

And by the time you’ve got yourself back on your feet, who knows, maybe you’ll run into your ex and he’s bound to be struck by how good you’re looking and how calm and contented you seem.  That’s a very good position from which to try and rekindle that precious but dimmed old flame.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in General | No Comments »

How to Steer Towards Getting Your Ex Back – Do’s & Don’t

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Believe it or not, many people have been through the same heartache you’re now dealing with.  Unfortunately, there doesn’t really exist a cure to make the pain go completely away but there are things you can do that will soften the blow of a break up and possibly capture your ex’s attention if you want to get your ex back.  Here are a few dos and don’ts that will considerably change your outlook to a breakup.

Don’t isolate yourself.  Naturally you’re going to want to withdraw into yourself and lick your wounds like a hurt pup.  This is probably one of the unhealthiest things you can do.  Why?  Because you’re only going to keep opening your cuts or make more cuts by thinking about what you could have done better or how you’re not worth anything anymore because you’re now single.

Do maintain your physical and social appearances.  You’re not going to feel like doing so, but by doing this, you’re going to be able to prevent yourself from going into isolation mode.  There are people that still care about you and want you to be happy.

Don’t become degenerate.  Withering away into nothingness is just bad.  Doesn’t it just sound unattractive?  Don’t convince yourself that because your ex left you you’re unattractive and worth nothing, because this is not true.  When you stop being active you will start to become less appealing and that’s unhealthy for you to feel because it will get to your mind even more, creating a horrendous vortex of ugliness.

Do stay mentally and physically fit.  Work out so you’ll look better and feel better and when you look and feel better you’ll have more confidence.  Confidence is key to getting back your ex.  By staying physically fit you’re going to be more appealing.  My remaining mentally sharp, you’re going to succeed.

When you dig yourself a hole of inactivity, you’re going to find it’s hard to get back out of.  It’s possible, but if you let yourself get to this point, you might lose the chance getting your ex back.  If you don’t want to miss your chance, start right away with the dos and avoid snares of the don’ts.  It will be worth it in the long run.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Get Back Your Ex | 1 Comment »