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Get Your Ex Back – Do’s and Don’ts

Saturday, February 20th, 2010

With anxiety and worry plaguing your thoughts that you’re never going to see your ex again, when you desperately want him back, they are going to lead you into acting the part of desperate.  If you want to get your ex back, it’s important that you act the opposite of how you’re feeling. 

Oftentimes, your actions can change how you feel.  Just think you’re okay and you’re more likely to make it through.  That’s not all the advice you need, though, because reading that you can be happy after a breakup and learning how to be happy after a breakup are different. 

Following are some dos and don’ts that will help you through this tough time.

Don’t:
- Don’t let emotion control you and don’t let depression swamp you.
- Don’t panic that you’re never going to see your ex again if he doesn’t contact you within three days.  He needs time and so do you.
- Don’t get lazy and let your life fall apart.
- Don’t become the clingy desperate ex that can be taken advantage of.

Do:
- Take some time to heal.  Even if you don’t want your ex back, being able to move on requires learning how to trust again. This is hard when you’re heartbroken.  However, it’s possible, so don’t let the impending doom of eternal unhappiness bog you down.
- Distract yourself in a healthy way.  If you do this you’re more likely to gain control of yourself and your emotions.
- Do maintain your appearances and keep putting effort into your daily routine.

Following these simple words of advice can make your breakup pain pass a little quicker.  You’ll have moments of breaking down and needing to cry but you’ll still be able to move on and you’ll eventually get stronger.  Not to mention, if you want to get your ex back, following this advice will help you in that endeavor.

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How to Steer Towards Getting Your Ex Back – Do’s & Don’t

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Believe it or not, many people have been through the same heartache you’re now dealing with.  Unfortunately, there doesn’t really exist a cure to make the pain go completely away but there are things you can do that will soften the blow of a break up and possibly capture your ex’s attention if you want to get your ex back.  Here are a few dos and don’ts that will considerably change your outlook to a breakup.

Don’t isolate yourself.  Naturally you’re going to want to withdraw into yourself and lick your wounds like a hurt pup.  This is probably one of the unhealthiest things you can do.  Why?  Because you’re only going to keep opening your cuts or make more cuts by thinking about what you could have done better or how you’re not worth anything anymore because you’re now single.

Do maintain your physical and social appearances.  You’re not going to feel like doing so, but by doing this, you’re going to be able to prevent yourself from going into isolation mode.  There are people that still care about you and want you to be happy.

Don’t become degenerate.  Withering away into nothingness is just bad.  Doesn’t it just sound unattractive?  Don’t convince yourself that because your ex left you you’re unattractive and worth nothing, because this is not true.  When you stop being active you will start to become less appealing and that’s unhealthy for you to feel because it will get to your mind even more, creating a horrendous vortex of ugliness.

Do stay mentally and physically fit.  Work out so you’ll look better and feel better and when you look and feel better you’ll have more confidence.  Confidence is key to getting back your ex.  By staying physically fit you’re going to be more appealing.  My remaining mentally sharp, you’re going to succeed.

When you dig yourself a hole of inactivity, you’re going to find it’s hard to get back out of.  It’s possible, but if you let yourself get to this point, you might lose the chance getting your ex back.  If you don’t want to miss your chance, start right away with the dos and avoid snares of the don’ts.  It will be worth it in the long run.

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Getting Your Ex Back – Snags and How to Avoid

Monday, January 25th, 2010

Have you ever got something caught in a zipper?  Notice that no matter how you pull, it’s almost impossible to keep zipping that zipper up or down.  A breakup is like the thing that snagged your zipper, and just like a zipper, when a relationship ends continuing to pull the zipper in the blocked direction is going to be a struggle and can often ruin the zipper.

The efforts of pulling on the zipper to get it free are like communication with your ex when things have ended.  The harder you try to continue pulling in the direction that the zipper got caught, the worse the situation is likely to get.  When you continue calling your ex with hopes of getting back with him/her, you’re ruining your chances of restarting your relationship.

The best way to get a zipper unstuck is to pull away and separate the loose item and usually zipping in the opposite direction before being able to continue zipping up or down.  The same holds true for a rocky relationship.  Pull yourself away from your ex and give him/her time as well as yourself.  You’ll be amazed at how much smoother getting your ex will be after about a month’s time of distance.

Snags to avoid with your ex are things like “drunk dial” or “text message terrorism.”  Both have a tendency to seem rational because how can your ex know how you still feel and how you’re doing if you don’t keep in touch?  Well, he/she won’t.  That’s okay because when you get the chance to make your reappearance, he/she will be shocked by how pulled together you managed to stay after the breakup.

When you keep up both those forms of communication you’re setting yourself up for more snags in your zipper.  If you’re constantly letting your ex know how you’re doing, he/she is less likely to miss you, he/she is going to see how vulnerable and desperate you became, and he/she is likely to get sick of you and will from that point on always see you as an irritant.  This is not a good way getting your ex back.

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Getting Your Ex Back from Someone Else’s Arms

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

When a relationship ends, it leaves behind scars of pain, confusion and even resentment.  These scars can heal and people can move on.  However, sometimes moving on is not on the agenda because you can’t stop loving and wanting him. It’s a normal reaction to finally being alone after some time. This is even more so if you know your ex is already seeing someone else and you are left with no choices.  Thinking of getting your ex back seems impossible…This is not necessarily so.  Just because he is with someone else, it doesn’t mean the door is closed and locked.  There might be a way you can get back in.

If he’s already chosen to be with someone else then it’s extremely likely that he’s done this on the rebound. That kind of relationship is usually short-lived and is largely entered into as a temporary replacement for the serious one that has just ended and as a source of solace and support.  It doesn’t mean he has moved on.  It means he’s trying to.

Have confidence in yourself and your history together.  Make a resolve to wait it out patiently and make sure he continues to see you at your best… in terms of how you look and in what you say and what you do.  By doing this, it will give him strong and consistent reminders of everything he ever saw in you.  Then, if his fledgling relationship is indeed failing to take flight, those reminders might be the things that send him back into your arms.  As the saying goes, you never know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Get more tips here: http://themagicofmakingup.com/makingup

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3 Mistakes You Shouldn’t Make When Trying to Get Your Ex Back

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

A breakup is like a car crash. Not just a fender bender but also a real incident that leaves everybody shaken up. After the accident you’re not sure what happened or what to do now. Much like a car crash, a breakup is rough and may cause you to do something irrational because you’re not thinking. However, if you know what to do before an incident, it’s a lot easier to stay calm and focused when the time comes.

Stay away from the phone and ignore the midnight desires of calling your ex to tell him you miss him. Calling and spilling all your emotions only shows how truly vulnerable you are and, quite frankly, that is a big turn off for a guy. While a guy wants to know you depend on him, he usually also wants a girl that can stand on her own two feet. Girls are the same way when it comes to guys. Yes, she likes to know how she cared for you and appealed to you, but she doesn’t want the burden of living your life for you, which is how it seems when you call and act as desperate as you feel.

Texting, emailing, Instant Messaging, leaving voicemail and any other forms of communication you use to get back in touch with your ex is also bad. You’re not giving him/her the space he/she needs and that makes them angry and even more confident that he/she was right in leaving you. With the constant messaging, your ex is going to avoid you even more.

Physical relationships after a breakup are always a bad idea because it leaves one party without any consequences while the other party is left taking all the weight of the breakup – and it’s usually the one that broke up with the other that doesn’t feel any consequences. It should be the other way around. Yes, you’re hurt if you were the one left on the side of the road while your partner decided to move on but the pain will subside faster if you’re not holding on the bumper being dragged along. End all forms of communication, even this one. In the end, you’ll both be better for it.

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How No Communication is Key to Getting Your Ex Back

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

It makes sense that when you want to get back with your ex you should constantly show him how you’re changing and what you’re doing in your life to show that you’re making yourself better for him, right? That may make sense but love isn’t a rational thing and the better solution to getting your ex back is to cut off all communication for a while.

It would seem that no communication would backfire on you but it actually makes perfect sense. How so? A relationship requires making several deep connections. When those connections are severed, the mind and body doesn’t know how to react. Emotions are still there but you don’t know how to express them because your outlet has been taken from you. There are two rational solutions: cut off all power (emotions) or try to find the outlet so you can express those emotions again. Again, love isn’t rational.

Like an electrician caps off exposed wires, you need to cap off your emotions. Put a guard on them and let your heart and self start to heal. If you continue to expose yourself you’re only going to hurt someone – and that’s most likely to be yourself.

Taking time for yourself after heartbreak will allow you to grow and mature in a way you didn’t know you could. You may have heard of the saying, “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”, well, a breakup isn’t going to kill you; therefore, it will only make you stronger.

Also, by severing all communication, your ex is going to get the time he needs to wrap up any loose end wires he may have felt were exposed and need to be capped. Or he may realize that the connection he had with you was a brilliant connection and he’ll want you back. He won’t be able to realize this if you’re constantly around zapping him with your exposed emotions.

In the end it is very likely that he’ll be kicking himself for letting you go and he’ll want that connection you shared before. You’ll both be able to take the caps off your emotions so they can be intertwined to create a powerful connection.

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2 Breakup Mistakes That Won’t Help Get Your Ex Back

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

You know you can’t be trusted when your defenses are down and emotions are high. You’re like a child drowning who just wants to take a deep breath in; only you know that one action could kill you. The same is true if you make faulty moves at the end of a relationship.

However, any bad moves can be prevented. The following are some missteps that can be avoided as long as you know what they are.

(1) Drunk Dialing

Though the name of this mistake can come from actually being drunk on alcohol, more often than not, the drunk feeling is from emotions running high.  This means you aren’t thinking very clearly. Your thought process is on how to get your ex back, hearing his/her voice and figuring out how to make things better. When you’re thinking like this, you’re bound to regret it in the morning when you let your guard down and take that deep breath in.

Though the purpose of your call was to make the situation better, you’ll most likely end up making it worse. We act our worst when we’re vulnerable. Don’t call. Allow your ex to be the one to first pick up the phone when he/she is ready for that sort of contact again.

(2) Text Message Terrorism

This refers to all forms of communication that you can basically spam at your ex: emails, text messages, etc. This is an error because you’re not giving your ex space. Not to mention, it can be really irritating to him/her. More often than not, spamming messages at your ex is only going to cause a larger rift between the both of you.

If you’re panicking in the water already, take a moment to get your bearings and realize that if you just put your foot down, you’re going to reach the bottom of the ocean. Don’t make the mistake of trying to breathe in water.

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Getting Back Your Ex – A True Breakup Story

Monday, September 14th, 2009

Swallowing a breakup is about as pleasant as trying to swallow a cup full of nails.  Nearly impossible and it hurts. I know. I’ve had my share of the breakup pain. When my ex left me, I thought my world was over. But it wasn’t. A breakup doesn’t mean a relationship is over. If it’s something you both truly desire, you can get your ex back.

Any relationship is hard; mine was – especially being in a long-distance relationship that I could only see my love once a month, if even that. The time we had together, though, made us happy and we knew we were in love.

However, the distance was straining; creating tension where it shouldn’t exist and errors aroused on my part that created a chasm. As the earth split beneath me, I stepped on the wrong side to catch my balance and soon we were growing apart.

I was ripped in half. What was I supposed to do without her in my life?  She brought understanding and completeness to my heart and yet, with a few foolish moves, I was on the wrong side of the spectrum and needed to find a way back.

Finding that right path was difficult. It takes time and understanding to gain back the trust of a broken heart. With the help of caring friends and family, I was able to make it through the rough times and my heart was eventually reunited with hers.

After more than a year of being back together, I understand the importance of getting back your ex when you still love him/her. Don’t give up hope and lean on those that offer a shoulder. Realize who you are and what you want to contribute to your relationship. I know what you’re going through and I want to help you get through your tough time.

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Simple Steps to Fix What’s Wrong to Win Back Your Ex

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

When a relationship falls apart and a break up occurs, it may feel like the end of the world.  You may feel like there is no chance to win back your ex or no hope of reconciliation but often a relationship can be repaired.  However, you must discover the reasons for the break up then decide if there are changes you can make to give it a better chance of succeeding the second time around.

 

It’s Not Just One Mistake

 

Usually there is not one big reason for the end of a relationship but many small ones.  Some of these reasons will be things you cannot or do not want to change.  Don’t spend time worrying about these reasons, as this will accomplish nothing.  Instead focus on the things you can change.

 

If you are lucky then your ex gave you very specific reasons for breaking up with you, but the reality is that most of them you must figure out on your own.  Think back over the relationship. What were the things that made your ex the angriest? What annoyed him or her on a daily basis?  What are those issues and are you willing to change about yourself?  To win back your ex it is important to do a little honest soul searching if you are going to make this work.

 

Once you have figured out the problems that you can fix in the relationship you must convince your ex that your efforts are sincere. If he or she sees the changes you have made and is willing to do a little soul searching of their own then you might just get a second chance to make the relationship.

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2 Effective Tips to Win Your Ex Back and Heal Your Heart

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Holidays can be especially brutal when you have just been dumped. It can be hard to face people who are with their loved ones when you don’t have anyone in your life. After all, they are happy, you are depressed. However, there are ways to move past the pain you feel and perhaps even win the love of your life back. How? Follow these two simple tips to help you win your ex back.

For starters, do not speak with your ex for a bit of time. You probably think this is the worst thing you can do but it’s actually for the best. When you don’t speak to your ex for a while, they wonder what you are up to and if you are thinking about them. You may not see it for some time but they may eventually call you to see how you have been. When you give your ex space, both of you can move past any hurtful feelings and words that may have been felt or said.

Secondly, begin putting your life together. When you are depressed, you don’t think about much else including how you look or how you feel. Work on these issues is vitally important to your overall health and well-being. Where to begin?

Begin with your physical appearance. Try to maintain a sense of routine including starting or keeping up with an exercise routine. Go to a gym and workout some of your frustrations. When you are depressed, it’s natural to let yourself go. Don’t let this happen to you. Instead, get an exercise routine down and start getting back into shape. Your ex will notice the difference when they see you again.

You also don’t want to be shut in all the time. Go spend some time with friends you have neglected during the relationship. Go with them to the movies or clubs especially after you have worked out and lost weight or done some other self-improvement. You may even run into your ex who may do a double take and wonder why they left you in the first place. Always seek out emotional support during those trying times after the breakup occurs.

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