Nobody wants to hear this. Everybody just knows bad news is on the way. You thought your relationship was serious but now the walls have fallen in. If she loves then, well, she loves you, so why does she want things to change? Is she trying to let you down gently? Or is there more to it than that?
Here are the most likely explanations of what she means, and some good advice on how to react and deal with it.
The first thing to realize is that, even though she’s using these words, let’s just be friends’, she might not have a clear idea of what she wants and how she feels. Obviously something has changed in your relationship to the extent that she feels the need to reclassify it. In the worst situations this really does mean it’s over, and there’s no getting around that.
But, if she’s more confused than convinced then ‘lets just be friends’ could be posing two subtly different propositions:
Situation A - “We had something great for a while, but things change and I just don’t think our relationship has any future. Please don’t be mad at me – I just think it’s for the best”.
Situation B - “We used to feel so strongly about each other, but I’m not sure if that strength is still there. We’ve had some rough times and I need space and time to think about the future – but I’m not saying I don’t want to see you any more”.
If it’s situation A, then it’s time for you to accept that this is the end of the road. Don’t waste time and hope on a relationship that’s history. But if it’s situation B, then she’s still open to persuasion. Tread carefully, take your time and find out what it would take to get things back on track.
