Anytime a break-up occurs there is usually a reasonable amount of time in which you feel maybe you can kindle your relationship and make it work for you again.  In fact, directly after a relationship ends your immediate thought is usually how to fix the problems and make your relationship work again.  This is especially true if you have already invested a lot of time and emotion into your relationship. While some relationships just need a bit of clarity and work, there are some reasons for a break-up that should be indicators that believe it or not, you are better off searching for a new soul mate.
 
There are a few prominent reasons to say no straight out to getting back together with your ex and those are addictive behaviors. Substance abuse is a primary one.  Alcoholics and drug abusers more times will relapse into destructive behaviors at some point in their lives sadly. Is this a situation you are willing to live with, and do you have the patience to help them with their addictions?  Is it worth to rekindle the relationship? If the answer is no then the relationship is never going to be a good one for you, and if your ex is still involved in substance abuse than there is no reason to ever think for one second the relationship will work, do not even consider them as an option in your life.

One of the main reasons relationships does not work out, and why you most likely will encounter many breakups throughout your dating career, is incompatibility.  Some people are just not made to be together for a long period of time.  If you are an outgoing person with different career goals and priorities than your ex, you two will never be on the same page and fighting the same battles over and over again will never get you anywhere.  People are made differently and hold different values. There is no shame in admitting that yours are not the same and moving on.  Ask yourself this ‘Is it worth to rekindle the relationship’? It hurts to be alone, but it’s not worth being together if you have to sacrifice yourself to be there.
 
This brings up the most important factor in deciding if your ex is really worth the effort it takes to put a relationship back together; how happy you truly were while you were together.  Everyone is lonely after a break-up, and for some reason it is so much easier to remember the great times you had together than remember all the bad times.  While you were in the relationship objectively compare the times you were happy to the times you were, stressed, frustrated, or angry with each other.  Which side wins?  Was every day a new battle to complete the day without another angry tirade and did you really love your ex, or did you just love being in a relationship. Thinking of ways to rekindle your relationship but if you felt unsatisfied or unfilled by the relationship most of the time, ask yourself if that’s how you want to live the rest of your life, and that should decide rather your ex should stay in your life.
Is this a situation you are willing to live with, and do you have the patience to help them with their addictions?  Is it worth to rekindle the relationship? If the answer is no then the relationship is never going to be a good one for you. Why?