Posts Tagged ‘break up’

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When You’re Ending A Relationship Gracefully

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

Among the hardest things you’ll ever come to meet with maybe the breakup of your relationship. It may be even tougher on you suppose it is you that has to do with the breaking up.

A lot of people believe it’s more difficult to be the one who is dumped, but in actual reality discovering the best way of ending a relationship gracefully, is indeed very hard. If you’ve reached the point that your relationship with your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend is just not working any longer, and you are getting fed up with dealing with the constant fights, there are some things you can do that will make it a little simpler on everyone involved when you are going through breakup.

First you need to do is quit blaming yourself or your partner. More than most likely there is enough blame to go around, but it’s essential to find a method to let go of the anger, disappointment and aggravation, so which you can move on.

It is typical for people to want to blame their ex since this can make it easier for them to leave, but this strategy can backfire. If you spend as much time playing the blame game it may be practically not possible for you to advance on and get more than your anger and harm… and which will only hold you back needlessly.

If you let go from the need to ‘be right’ and ‘get your fair share within the settlement’ you will be able to move on a lot more easier. Couples can very easily lose sight of what’s really important… to conclusion the once romantic relationship with as small extra pain as you possibly can.

Instead they fight more than who is heading to get the silverware from aunt Sally. If you want to make points simpler on both of you, make sure you do not let your emotions obtain the better of you. This highly emotional time will allow it to be really easy for you to wish to lash out and let your ex have it by calling them every name within the book, but if you do, all you’ll concluse with is guilt.

It’ll just cause you to feel pathetic, and look bad. Much better to consider the high street than to dive into the gutter. Take the higher street and you will be able to take a look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and move on a lot more rapidly which can be what you’re truly going to want to complete.

It is simple to obtain caught up in feelings of failure, but again, it’s not what you need to hang on to. Rather understand that individuals change and that you are each somewhat accountable for that breakup from the relationship and be prepared to advance on. The more well balanced you can stay at this stage, the much less baggage you’ll need to carry into your next relationship… and also the rest of your life.

Ending a relationship gracefully is possible, and though there are times whenever you really feel like getting as mean and nasty as you possibly can. Breaking up is hard and there is no denial.

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Relationship Breakup – The Things That Broke You Up and How to Fix Them

Thursday, December 24th, 2009

Serious relationships fail for all kinds of reasons.  Sometimes there will be a gradual cooling off, sometimes a temporary estrangement and at other times an apparently irreconcilable rift.  If you want a second chance then you need to take a cold hard look at what really caused the breakup.  It may not be pleasant but this is the time for honesty and in the end… can only be positive.

One very common cause is infidelity. If your ex dumped you for this reason then it’s a pretty safe bet that you were the guilty party.  What you’ve done is a very serious transgression. 

Relationships can be rebuilt after an episode like this but it takes time so be prepared for a long haul.  The love is still there but one thing that will take a great deal longer to repair is trust.  It won’t be pleasant or easy but keep that in mind and you may be able to salvage even this grim situation.

Another common cause is one partner trying to control the other.  Everybody jokes about control freaks and we see them in all walks of life.  But nobody wants them in their love life.  If the one you’re with wants to control what you do, how you act, where you go, even what you think, then it’s a clear sign that either they don’t trust you, or don’t respect you or don’t even like you the way you are.  If you’ve behaved like this, you need to admit it to yourself and to him and promise both of you that you’ll change.  Love him for who he is, not for who you’re mistakenly trying to turn him into.

Finally, partners will often abandon a relationship because they themselves feel abandoned, emotionally.  An important part of any serious relationship is the emotional support that you give each other.  Don’t underestimate how much your partner needs and values this.  Everyone is an individual – don’t judge his demands by your own and respect his emotional needs for what they are.

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Does “Let’s Be Friends” Always Mean the End of a Relationship?

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Men have long been afraid of hearing the words “Let’s just be friends” come from their girlfriends’ lips. Those four words together are perhaps the most feared in the dating vocabulary. Men believe that with those words they are hearing the end of their relationship and whatever future they may have planned with this woman.  Sometimes that is the case… however, that’s not always the case.

 

Sometimes, when a man hears that phrase it’s for a good reason they should be concerned. There are the times when a woman tells a man she is only interested in a friendship, what she is really saying is that she wants to break up and be done with him completely.  She may say this to soften the blow of the break up.  Other times, she means exactly what she says. Although she does not want a romantic relationship, she does still enjoy spending time with him.  In this case, there is a good possibility that he may be able to rekindle the relationship.

 

If a man believes that his girlfriend means the words, “Let’s be friends”, he must proceed very carefully.  He must work to remind her why the two of them were together in the first place without making her feel pressured.  She may have broken up with him because she was unsure just how she felt about him. She may need the time away to sort out her feelings.  If he pursues her aggressively while she is trying to get her head wrapped around her feelings, he is likely to scare her away.

 

Time, patience and understanding are what are needed from a man in this situation.  If he is willing to give his ex-girlfriend the time to find her own path, he may find that her path leads right back to his arms. You can learn a lot more here: http://www.squidoo.com/discover-magic-of-making-up

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Can a Relationship Recover From “Let’s Be Friends?”

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

No one ever wants to hear the words, “Let’s be friends” from the person they are dating.  All too often people assume that those words mean the end of a relationship. They figure what their ex really means is that they want to break up and never see each other again.  However, this is not always the case. Sometimes when people say, “Let’s be friends,” they mean exactly that. 

 

It is possible that the person using the phrase, “Let’s be friends”, really does value your friendship. If this is the case, they may simply be confused about how the really feel about you. This is when some time apart may be the best way to bring both of you back together. Time without you may be just what your ex needs to remind them why the two of you were dating in the first place. When they are ready to make amends, be their friend and see where it leads.

 

It may also be that the person who said, “Let’s be friends”, is afraid of how strong their feelings are for you. Sometimes when we first fall in love with another person it is frightening. Often times in this situation a person will push away the person they love rather than risk falling deeper in love and getting badly hurt. The best course of action for this situation is to embrace the friendship. Once your ex realizes that you’re not going anywhere, they may be willing to risk trying a romantic relationship once more. You will learn a lot more here: http://www.squidoo.com/discover-magic-of-making-up

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How A Rebound Relationship Can Work In Your Favor

Friday, July 17th, 2009

It is common for us to get in a rebound relationship after we split apart from a loved one however; the question is how do I get her back?You probably know the definition of a rebound relationship. It?s when you get in another relationship shortly after a split up to avoid the pain. When this is happening you know you have a good chance of getting your ex back, because she is only in the new relationship to cope with dealing with loosing you.
None of the break up details makes a difference. If the break up was your fault or hers, don’t worry about it. Really, it does not matter who ended the relationship. What is key, is the fact that you have a true love. Always remember a relationship that has a foundation of love can be resurrected. Take note that if your love one is in a rebound relationship all her attention will be directed on what was the bad in your relationship. Example, if you were one of the “good guys” she will most likely have a “bad boy”. If she is doing this it’s actually to your advantage, because see is still focused on you while she is in her rebound relationship. This gives you a chance to notice what she is looking for. Within a month or so the rebound relationship will become stale, because she will also notice the flaws in the new guy and realize that she was better off staying with you.
Wait! Come back here it’s not the time to go and start running after her now. Give it some time let her thoughts marinate about the fact that she misses you and how good it was with you inspite of the break up. When she makes the decision to come back welcome her with open arms.

These are steps How to get my ex back when they are in a rebound relationship.
? Soon she will realize that you are the love of her life. There is no need to convince her.
? Please don’t bombard her with I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry. Soon she will start to think that you are sorry. Trust that even though you wrong her she knows the reason she loves you.
? Trying to change is not the issue here. You know the song, ?Don?t go changing trying to please me,” she loves you just the way you are.
? If the break up was not your fault you don?t have to convince her of that fact. Over time see will see that it was not your fault if you didn’t make her defend her position that it was your fault.
? One more thing you should never beg for her to take you back.

To get ex back is not impossible when she is in a rebound relationship. No need to fret she is still in love with you.

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Using Curiosity to Make Your Ex Return Your Call Back Works!

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

One of the hardest obstacles to overcome during a break up is to get your ex to call you back. What secrets and tricks can you use get him curious and to spark his interest to return your call?  Here are two ways to sparks their interest that will ensure a call back.

Show His Feelings Interest

Believe or not, a guy gets hurt during a break up, too. He’s going to look for something that will help mend his insecure feelings that might have popped up…even if he won’t admit it. When you call and try to apologize for whatever you did or try to say you’ve changed, all he’s going to hear is “me, me, me. my, my, my. I, I, I.”  What about him and his feelings?  Be understanding and considerate of his feelings.  When you leave a message, tell him that you’re grateful for something that he did.

Get Him Curious

When you call and stoke that ego of his you’re also going to catch his attention because he’s going to want to know why you’re grateful and what you’re grateful for…especially if you word your message just right.  Something to this effect would do it, “Hi, Greg.  This is Jessica. You know, I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am for what you’ve done for me.  I really appreciate you.  If you’d call me back, I’d like the opportunity to thank you in person.”

How Does It Work

Because he’s human, he wants to feel appreciated. Because he’s human, he can’t resist a puzzle and wants to know why. He’ll want to know what he did to make you call him and thank him when tensions may be high between the two of you and he’ll want to know what he could do in the future to keep your appreciation because it feeds into his need to be a man that can make a woman happy. However, this will only work when you are sincere and truly have something to thank him for.

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If He Still Loves You – Using the Scale of Emotions

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

Does he still love you? It’s easy to find out by how he reacts to you after the break up. If he broke up with you saying he still wanted to be friends again, that’s a pretty good indication he still has feelings for you but he’s just a little confused. Find out how he really feels using the scale of emotions.

Does he call you even though you broke up?  Send you texts?  Emails?  What’s the content of each of these?  Is it playful banter like before?  Awkward moments of trying to just be friends?  Does he even try to contact you? Depending on your answers depends on where you stand on the scale of emotions.

When Is It Indifference?

If he feels indifferent towards you, it’s not the end of the world. You’ll be able to tell this when he doesn’t return your phone calls or make any attempt to contact you but when you bump into each other on the street he’ll still say hello. Just move on, it’s okay.

When Is It Friendly Affection?

You know he still has interest in you when he calls you a few times after the break up and even asks you to hang out. However, when you do hang out, it’s not the same as it was before. In fact, you might feel like he’s treating you as “one of the guys” as he slugs your arm and hands you an unopened beer (or makes you get your own).

When Is It Love or Hate?

If he calls you three times in three days just to say hi or see how you’re doing, he still cares about you. If he calls three times in three days saying he wants his toothbrush back and that he’s going to send your things by mail, he’s pretty much severed all hope of getting back with him. However, both kinds of calls are on the scale of emotions because both emotions are very similar…they have the same drive of passion.

If he still has feelings for you, you’ll know where you stand by how he reacts to you and how often he tries to get in touch.

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You Can Get Your Ex Back – Why You Need to Move On Now?

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

It’s tough to deal with a breakup. When one occurs, people become paralyzed, afraid to go on with life. Afraid that if they do they’ll lose the chance to get their ex back. Don’t believe that moving means giving up. They are not the same thing. If you want to get your ex back, it is best to move on. How is that possible, right?

 

What does moving on really mean? It does not mean you are giving up on the chance to get a second chance, it means you are showing yourself, your ex, friends, family and the world that you can live without your ex beside you. However, the problem that people are facing is distinguishing the difference between the two. This keeps people from doing the best thing for themselves and their ex after the breakup.

 

If you move on, you not only help yourself deal with the breakup aftermath but you can fully assess the feelings for your ex, your life and how they come together and mesh. If your ex sees you moving on and getting on with life without them, the chances of him or her feeling the same way are great. If you look as if the breakup meant nothing, they’ll certainly feel as if they never should have been without you in the first place.

 

You don’t have to feel like you are moving on, but don’t force it either. Show the strength that you feel like you don’t have to everyone else; to those who are close to you including your ex and your close circle of family and friends. Showing it makes you look more eye-catching. They may begin to treat you better than ever and your ex may wonder why he or she broke up with you.

 

How can you put up a front that you’ve moved on especially if you don’t feel like it? There’s 2 ways you can do this.

 

(1)  Take care of your appearance - Change your appearance to look better. Buy clothes that flatter your looks. If you need it, start a diet and get some exercise. Lose those unwanted pounds that seem to trip you up. You can also get a haircut or a brand new hair style. If you don’t like to smile because of an imperfection, then gets something done about it. There are so many things that you can change about yourself. Pick out a few that you think you need to change first.

 

(2)  Get a social life - Don’t let the breakup pain stop you from living your life. You don’t want it to completely take over your life. You may not want to live life without them but you need to show them that you can. Go out with your friends. Surround yourself with people who can give you a healthy outlet. If you force yourself to have a good time, you may find yourself having a good time on your own without having to force it.

 

If you combine these two things together, you’ll find yourselves beating off other people who would like to know who you are. Do you have to go out with them? No, you don’t. The interest alone that you’ll get will help you feel confident and good in yourself.

 

If you act like you’re moving on, you’ll find yourself wondering if you really want to get your ex back or if you want to move on and find someone else you want to be with. If you can show him or her how you are now, it may make them take a second glance and want to have a second chance. Try it, it works!

 

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Helpful Tips to Getting Through the Breakup Pain

Friday, January 9th, 2009

When you are in pain dealing with a breakup, it’s easy to lose track of the things that are going on in your life. After all, your life is in total chaos.  However, you don’t want this breakup to ruin your life or your chances to win back your ex, right? So how do you handle the rigors of breakups and not fall apart trying to do so?

Always pay attention to the important parts of your life. Make sure your social and personal levels are maintained and covered. You don’t want anything to slip through the cracks. What does this mean?

How to Get Your Ex Back From A Personal Level Standpoint

Always maintain yourself. What does this mean? It means being or getting physically fit, staying healthy mentally and be conscientious about our hygiene. If you are unhealthy in the weight department, get some exercise and eat right. Don’t let your feelings about the breakup destroy how you feel about yourself even further.

What does it mean by being healthy mentally? It means to work on your own attitude and how you feel about yourself on the inside. Look at your situation and see what you can do to change it. Many people who go through a breakup take it hard and it affects their self-esteem. You want to stay positive and optimistic about what your future holds for you. You already know that getting your ex back is going to be a challenge. Don’t add more stress to it by second-guessing everything you are and everything you do.

Your social life is also a very important part of who you are. Breakups are tough to deal with it so don’t go it alone. Instead, find a support circle such as friends, family and any others that will let you have a shoulder to cry or lend an ear for you to talk. Make sure that you go out with close friends to the local scene. Be optimistic and stay positive about things in your life. You should let your ex see this “strong” feeling even if you don’t feel so “strong” about the situation. It makes them wonder if they did the right thing.

Don’t doubt that you are a special person. When you do this, you just add more stress to an already stressful situation. They are many people who can support you and give you advice. Make sure that this breakup doesn’t destroy the person you are and everything that is important to you in your life. In the end, you’ll save yourself a ton of grief. Hope some of these advices will help you get through the breakup pain.

 

 

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Do You Still Love Your Ex?

Monday, December 29th, 2008

Handling a relationship break up is never easy, but occasionally a person can be overly confident in their abilities to cope.  They go on with their daily routine thinking they’re not missing the ex, but the truth is they are. This distancing, a known behavior response, offers only temporary pain relief but doesn’t help over the long term. There are definite signs that indicate you could still love your ex, whether you want to admit it or not.

Ask yourself…

Do you often ask yourself where your ex is and what they are doing? Pretty obvious you still think about them.  You wonder how they are dealing with your break up or whether they are spending time with someone else. You could even experience some anxiety when you find out they are dating. These are all signs that you need to move on with life.  Being curious about what your ex is doing is natural, what’s not healthy is becoming obsessed with it. 

Changing Your Timetable

Changing social engagements and work timetables just to check up the ex is not a good sign. You may even have planned to show up at an event where you’re sure to meet your ex. This of course encourages interaction between you and your ex and reminds them of your continued presence. It’s quite likely you’re not consciously aware you are doing certain things, like frequenting restaurants and places you regularly visited together. No matter, changing your timetable because of your ex shows you are still, much too obsessed by them.

Jealous Tactics

Have you talked to particular people or bought yourself a glitzy present to get the attention of your ex? This is a sign of jealous manipulation. You may think you doing it for revenge, but the opposite is true, it’s really a maneuver to attract the attention of your ex.  If you were really over the relationship it wouldn’t matter what your ex thought of you.  Employing jealous tactics just proves you still love your ex and care too much about their opinion.

Be Honest with Yourself

The truth can be brutal but the only way to successfully handle your feelings is to confront them and face the truth head on. Are you still in love with your ex? If they asked today for your forgiveness would you take them back with no real questions asked?  Answer yourself honestly and truthfully. You’re the only one who knows the answer to these questions but you must ask and being honest is important because if you can’t be honest with yourself who can you be honest with?

Still loving your ex isn’t a terrible or horrible thing. The problem arises when you ignore the facts and bury your feelings without dealing with them.  Admitting you still have feelings for your ex is a positive step toward your recovery. Then you can decide whether you want to get back together with your ex or whether you want to focus on getting on with your life. 

 

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