Posts Tagged ‘break up’

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Your Breakup Pain: How to Get Past It

Friday, December 5th, 2008

When your world gets shattered by the one person who is supposed to keep it together, it can be completely overwhelming. You may think you’ll be feeling the hurt for years to come. However, this breakup pain doesn’t have to last. You can actually get out of this rut and begin living your life once again. There’s no reason to make the breakup any harder than it is already on you. How can you get through the plan? By making a plan and staying to it.

The most vitally important part of the plan, before you even devise one, is to get out of the funk you are in. This may seem difficult to do considering how bad you feel at that moment. However, if you do not get out of this funk, life will just keep going without you and you’ll end up missing the fun parts it has to offer. Take control of your own life. You first need to realize that the pain you feel is completely normal, no matter how bad you are feeling. Yet, when a breakup happen you cannot let pain take over your entire life. You have to stand up for yourself and keep moving forward. It’s likely your ex has already moved on with their life.

If you want to get out of this depression, get together with some friends who care about you. Get out to the scene where there are plenty of people.  Have a good time even if it’s forced in the beginning. You can engross yourself in this form of action keep the pain you are experiencing at bay.

Be sure you look your best whenever you are out in public. If you dress to kill, you’re likely to get attention from members of the opposite sex as well as get your ex’s attention. After a breakup of your magnitude, any attention is good to rebuild your self-esteem and self-confidence.

If your ex does hear about that’s going on in your life, chances are they will start to think about the good times with you and why they let you go in the first place. Nothing is more tempting for a person to see their ex moving on to get them back before they move on for good. When they see or hear that you are dating someone else, they’ll do whatever they can to find out if you life are any happier to be with someone else or them.

Should your ex decide they want you back, you actually have the power to decide if they are who you want to be with. While it may not be intentional to hurt them, it’s definitely nice to have that sort of power. How nice it is to have the kind of power and realize this is not the person you really want to be with though initially you thought they were.

 

 

 

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How to Get Your Mind off Your Ex

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

After you have suffered a breakup, the last thing you want to do is see your ex so you can get over the pain you feel on the inside. You may feel this way even if you want your ex back in your life. However, this can be easier said than done. Yet, there are several things that can help you think of other things besides your ex perhaps leading to a reconciliation later down the road.

The worst thing you can do is sit around moping and feeling sorry for yourself. You can make a difference doing something versus doing nothing at all.  A Breakup happened for some reasons only you are in a position to know the reasons behind it.  Take it as a wake up call and find out why your relationship failed. There is no point mopping over the past, instead take the opportunity to move on instead of letting the pain you feel rule your life without you being aware.

You should get together with friends you have and try your best to have fun when you are with your friends.  It can be difficult to actually to pretend have a good time since the hurt is still very strong. Having a strong willpower is important for times like this and your attitude to succeed. You want to live your life and never let anyone stop you from doing so.

By getting into the public eye, you can get through the worst of the hurt. If your ex hears or sees you looking like you are leading a normal life again, then you get back some of your self-respect. It may make them think differently about you and may even see you in a completely different light. When you show your ex that you are not a doorstep and they aren’t your entire heart and soul, it gets them to thinking why they broke up with you in the first place and possibly reconsider this decision.

Take full advantage of getting together with your friends. You can focus your efforts on getting past the pain that you feel while your ex begins to contemplate the breakup. Combine this with several other tips will have them eating out of the palm of your hand. Before you know it, you’ll have the power to decide whether you want them back.

If you want to get your ex back, clear your head and your heart of any hurt you are feeling since the breakup occurred. This scenario works for both men and women.

 

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3 Steps to Get over a Breakup Pain

Sunday, October 19th, 2008

When you experience a breakup, the pain can be overwhelming. It can hurt you in both physical and mental sense, truly hurting your heart. You may be surprised to learn that foods you used to eat for flavor no longer have taste. For some people the pain of the breakup is so unbearable that they feel trapped by the feeling without the ability to get out from underneath it. However, you can get over a breakup and perhaps get your ex back while you are at it.

Instead of staying in bed and feeling sorry for yourself about the breakup, get into the right frame of mind that helps you overcome the sadness you feel. No one said it would be easy but you have to help yourself in this situation. After you have overcome this miserable state, you will feel that life will be worth living once again. Yet, you have to work on 3 important steps to get your life back on the happy track.

(1)  Stop Feeling Sorry Things that Happened

The worst thing you can do is stay in a dark room and mope having all those negative thoughts and feelings you are experiencing. Instead, get some light going in that dark room. Go get some positive thinking going through your mind instead. You have to break the emotional baggage cycle to get the positive light to enter your mind, heart and soul. Let real life invade your thoughts but train yourself to have that positive outlook that you know you can have back.

(2)  Get Out Of the House

One of the best cures for getting over breakup heartbreak is getting out in public with friends and family. Be with people who care about you and what you are going through. While being away from people may feel safer, it’s definitely not the smarter thing to do. When you are vulnerable, people tend to walk all over you because they know you won’t care at that moment.  Be with people who can help you succeed in getting over the pain and suffering you feel. It’s best for you in the long run.

(3)  Breaking off Contact with Your Ex

Even if your ultimate goal is to win back your ex, the best way to do this is to break off all contact with them. This means no conversations even about the mundane things. If you have to see each other, such as for work or school, be civil to one another. Giving each other some space lets you both set out your priorities and will confirm if you really want the other person in your life after all. Many breakups don’t always lead to getting back together but this is the time to find out if he or she is the one for you.

While these 3 tips are important in getting over a breakup pain it can make you a stronger person too. A breakup can break a spirit but you can bring that spirit back as long as you try and allowed yourself to do so.

 

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5 Reasons to Staying Healthy After a Breakup

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

When you want to get your ex back, it doesn’t have to be a difficult task.  The only things you have to remember to do are to get up in the morning and face the day. No doubt any sort of depression can make you stop focusing on life but more so if the depression is due to a breakup of a relationship. It can also impair you from putting together a plan that will help you win back your ex.

However, if you want to keep from getting seriously depressed so you can win back your ex, there are five things you can do to stay on track. They are:

(1)  Do not have contact with your ex. Both of you need to take advantage of any time apart you can get. Be sure the time away is no less than a month. If you are fighting constantly, this will be best for you and for them. It also gives you time to get your life going in the right direction. Don’t worry about your ex in this month away.

(2)  Get together with friends you have neglected since your relationship began. Being with the people who care about is one way to heal your wounded heart. If you have a close knit family, go to them during this time period too. All your friends and family want for you is to be happy.

(3)  Do you have a hobby? Use this time to focus on it. However, if you are the type of person who loves going out, then be that socializing, charming person you know you are. Go out with friends if you can get them together. It’s two healings for the price of one.

(4)  Do something new for or to yourself. Get a new hairdo, buy some clothes and get some exercise. Join a gym. Of course, you need to be sure you have some money to do anything of these things. If you really want to stay cheerful, exercise is the best healer for a wounded heart. You not only begin to heal physically but emotionally too.

(5)  Now that you are single, go out and enjoy the status for awhile. You don’t have to start dating but being recognized and feeling wanted can do plenty for that self esteem and self confidence that has been shaken.

If you want to win back your ex, start with rebuilding your self-image. It’s imperative to get through any depression you feel before it gets seriously worse. You don’t want to fall into doing any drugs and alcohol. This is also true if you don’t even plan to win back your ex. However, if you really want to win back your ex, you should follow the 5 guidelines stated above.

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The Do’s and Don’ts of Breakups

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

When you are unexpectedly dumped, you can take the breakup rather hard. If you want your ex back, it can be tricky to accomplish with what you are feeling at the moment. However, there are 5 do’s and don’ts of breakup that can make things go a little more smoothly and work in your favor.

First, remember that no matter how you feel, what you may think or how you see your life, life does continue to go on. Don’t miss out on all the good things you could see and do. By doing things that keep you entertained, you can start the healing process. Before you know it, things will look up for you.

Second, do not turn to negative influences such as alcohol or drugs. Using these items to deal with the breakup can in fact have negative consequences and only depress you further. Find someone who is can understand your situation with an open mind.

Third, stay out of contact with your ex for a short period of time. Usually a month works best. If you repeatedly see each other, time won’t be able to heal the wounds. If you are together constantly, you won’t be able to work on making yourself a better person and the same goes for them. After time passes and you both give it a go, the both of you are better for it.

Fourth, ignore the heart strings that encourage you to do things. Your heart is too emotional. Instead follow your head in these matters. Forget those initial impulses because they do you more harm than good.

Lastly, you need to know upfront that even if you want your ex back, there is no guarantee you were meant to be together. Try not to force a relationship with someone who does not want to be with you.

Does this mean you should walk away at the first sign of trouble? No. Just be prepared for this likelihood.

Knowing and following these 5 steps does not guarantee that you will get your ex back especially if you want your ex back. It’s just one thing to guide you to the best response to a bad situation.

Never try to face this problem on your own. If you want to reconcile with your ex back, you should have a shoulder to lean on for support and advice.

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If You Want Ex Back – Stop Further Conflict

Thursday, July 24th, 2008

If you have been dumped, you probably think that the only way to get your ex back would be to see them and talk with them constantly.  This is, in fact, counter productive. If you stop talking with them for a specific amount of time (3-4 weeks will do) then you’ll see that there are several benefits to waiting.

 

If you and your ex are fighters, it is best to spend some time apart so both of you can cool your heads. This is especially true for couples who just broke up. If you feel like you both can have a go at the relationship after some time apart, then it is best not to see each other for about a month. Seeing each other causes more conflict and honestly, the time apart is rather good for all involved.

 

After the peaceful month has passed, both of you should be less unreceptive. You can settle all those issues that drove you apart with an open mind and open heart, thus starting the healing process. If you want to get your ex back with confidence, it is necessary to give yourselves this break.

 

No matter the type of breakup you have, whether it is constantly fighting with each other or having a mutual time away, it is a way to rekindle the flames and fire in your relationship. If you are constantly seeing each other, it’s like you never broke up and both of you won’t have the time to miss one another.

 

Remember these two old expressions, “You don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone” and “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”. How can you be appreciated if you never actually leave. He or she won’t have the opportunity to know what he or she is missing if you are always together. If the breakup was under a mutual understanding, there is always a chance for another shot. Yet, he or she will never see it…so spend some quality time apart.

 

When it seems everything is falling apart around you, it can be hard to make any sort of correct decisions. Don’t react to your circumstances. Instead react with a plan to those circumstances. Hence this reason for the time apart, you can develop some sort of plan to get your ex back.

 

Without a plan, people act in all kinds of ways. You may lack the right words, turning off your ex. You may come off as needy thus sending your ex running from your attempts to get back together. So, embrace this month long hiatus to develop a plan that has actually worked. Don’t do what you think works, do what does work.

 

If you really are serious about getting back together with your ex, then you should take the advice you get just as seriously. Sometimes it’s difficult from staying away from the one you love but if you want your ex back, you really need to do give yourself and your ex a break.

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Win Your Ex Back And How to Gain Back Her Trust

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Trust is very important in any relationship. In fact, without trust, love will not prosper. If trust is present, however, the relationship will prosper and weather most difficult storms and problems. When you are in a relationship, make sure that you trust your partner and that your partner trusts you.

 

If trust is broken, the relationship gets broken not long after. You can win your ex back by gaining her trust. This may be an uphill battle but if you are determined and courageous enough, you can regain her trust. There are a lot of reasons why trust can get broken. May be you were not loyal to your girlfriend or if you did not fulfill a promise made. When trust is broken, the relationship suffers as a result.

 

The bad news is, break up can crush your heart and will induce depression. If you do not know how to handle depression, it will incapacitate you and might lead to you forget the things that you need to do in your life. There is good news, however, you can win your ex back by gaining her trust. How?

 

Give her time to ponder on the breakup. Most likely, she also got hurt by the breakup and she is nursing her emotional wounds. You need to give her a break then and allow her to be alone even for just several days or weeks. This way, you can also have a chance to reflect on what happened and you can formulate a strategy on how you can win her back. During this time of cooling off, both of you might shy away from dates until you have brought closure to your relationship.

 

In this case, you need to initiate a meeting. It could be a date or a friendly chat over a cup of coffee but this is necessary for both of you to settle your differences and forgive each other for what happened.

 

When you have talked about your differences, you need to start regaining her trust by doing one trustworthy act after another. A small promise here and there fulfilled on time will surely go a long way in making her believe that you are true to your word. Such acts would effectively help win your ex back by gaining her trust.

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