A breakup is like a car crash. Not just a fender bender but also a real incident that leaves everybody shaken up. After the accident you’re not sure what happened or what to do now. Much like a car crash, a breakup is rough and may cause you to do something irrational because you’re not thinking. However, if you know what to do before an incident, it’s a lot easier to stay calm and focused when the time comes.

Stay away from the phone and ignore the midnight desires of calling your ex to tell him you miss him. Calling and spilling all your emotions only shows how truly vulnerable you are and, quite frankly, that is a big turn off for a guy. While a guy wants to know you depend on him, he usually also wants a girl that can stand on her own two feet. Girls are the same way when it comes to guys. Yes, she likes to know how she cared for you and appealed to you, but she doesn’t want the burden of living your life for you, which is how it seems when you call and act as desperate as you feel.

Texting, emailing, Instant Messaging, leaving voicemail and any other forms of communication you use to get back in touch with your ex is also bad. You’re not giving him/her the space he/she needs and that makes them angry and even more confident that he/she was right in leaving you. With the constant messaging, your ex is going to avoid you even more.

Physical relationships after a breakup are always a bad idea because it leaves one party without any consequences while the other party is left taking all the weight of the breakup – and it’s usually the one that broke up with the other that doesn’t feel any consequences. It should be the other way around. Yes, you’re hurt if you were the one left on the side of the road while your partner decided to move on but the pain will subside faster if you’re not holding on the bumper being dragged along. End all forms of communication, even this one. In the end, you’ll both be better for it.

If you want your ex back, it can be hard to know if the relationship even worth going after. After all, you’ve been dumped; your ex doesn’t want you back, right? Not always so. Your ex may want you; they may just need some time to figure this out on their own. Yet, how are you to know if there are any feelings left for you?

Actually, it’s pretty easy to figure out if your ex still has feelings for you. It doesn’t take a science degree to figure it out. All it takes is some knowledge about the emotional scale. Emotional scale? What’s this? It’s what lets people know how a person feels about them based on the different ranges. Love being on one side of the scale and hate on the opposite end. When you look at the scale, you can make these two emotions like this: intense (love)/ indifference (hate).

When a person has no real feelings for another person, they fall on the indifference side of the scale. However, when a person has strong feelings for someone, they fall to the inside side of the scale. How do you discern where you fall on this love/hate measurement? Start by watching how your ex acts toward you. Does it seem like you can talk as you did before or does the reception seem chilly?

Look at it like this: When you call your ex, does it seem like they never answer or are in a hurry to get off the phone with you? Does it seem like you are always the one calling? If so, then it’s probable that you are on the indifference side of the scale. You may have little chance to win your ex back when you are on this side.

However, if your ex calls you or doesn’t mind you contacting them, you still have a winning shot to get them back. It means they do still care about you and how you are doing. It may take some doing and you will definitely need a plan, but you can win your ex back. All you need to do is to stay off the indifference side of the scale.

If you want your ex back, it can be hard to know if the relationship even worth going after. After all, you’ve been dumped; your ex doesn’t want you back, right? Not always so. Your ex may want you; they may just need some time to figure this out on their own. Yet, how are you to know if there are any feelings left for you?

Actually, it’s pretty easy to figure out if your ex still has feelings for you. It doesn’t take a science degree to figure it out. All it takes is some knowledge about the emotional scale. Emotional scale? What’s this? It’s what lets people know how a person feels about them based on the different ranges. Love being on one side of the scale and hate on the opposite end. When you look at the scale, you can make these two emotions like this: intense (love)/ indifference (hate).

When a person has no real feelings for another person, they fall on the indifference side of the scale. However, when a person has strong feelings for someone, they fall to the inside side of the scale. How do you discern where you fall on this love/hate measurement? Start by watching how your ex acts toward you. Does it seem like you can talk as you did before or does the reception seem chilly?

Look at it like this: When you call your ex, does it seem like they never answer or are in a hurry to get off the phone with you? Does it seem like you are always the one calling? If so, then it’s probable that you are on the indifference side of the scale. You may have little chance to win your ex back when you are on this side.

However, if your ex calls you or doesn’t mind you contacting them, you still have a winning shot to get them back. It means they do still care about you and how you are doing. It may take some doing and you will definitely need a plan, but you can win your ex back. All you need to do is to stay off the indifference side of the scale.

Imagine this scenario if you will:
“Hey Bobby, it’s Marina. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated what you did for me. It’s helped me more than you can imagine.  Give me a call back. I’d like to thank you in person.”

Can you guess how a message like that is going to almost ensure a phone call back from your ex?  Here’s a hint: there are two factors that appeal to the human that make this call golden. One factor is a word; the other is just an urge. Give up?

When Marina calls Bobby she tells him she appreciates him. Bobby likes this because he sees that Marina is seeing him on a different level.  She’s talking about him, igniting his ego to give him that feeling of approval. However, Bobby isn’t entirely sure why or what Marina is even talking about.  Now he’s curious.  What could he have done that made Marina take the time to thank him?  Was it the flowers he sent to soften the blow?  Was it the fact that he broke up with her in order to help her find herself again because she changed too much for him?  There could be a million things Marina would be calling to thank him for… something he may not even be expecting.

Self-Interest and curiosity are two aspects humans can’t resist.  They both create a flame inside of you that is only satiated when pursued.  It’s just instinct to want to know why.  It’s just instinct like being told you’ve done something good.

Can you see now why Marina’s message would entice Bobby to give Marina a call back?  She played on his curiosity and showed interest in him, playing on his self-interest. He wants to know what he did and he’s glad she appreciates him.

You’ve called her and left messages saying that you’re sorry. You tell her you’ve changed, asking her for a second chance but nothing seems to work to get her to pick up the phone and dial your number.

The trick is making the phone call about your ex, not about you. Two factors weigh in on the chances of your ex calling you back. First, what does she get out of it? Two, why should she call you back?

The first question relates to self-interest (something we all have). She wants to know what she gains from calling you back. Is she just going to get another apology? Another excuse? Another lie?

The second question relates to curiosity. Why should she call back?  She’ll want to satiate her curiosity. You’ve said something that intrigues her and she wants to know why you’ve said that. She’ll call back. Especially if the answer to the why fits under the category of what she gets out of the call.

But what are the right words to ease the phone to her ear and call you back?  Perhaps something like this:

“Hey Stacey, this is Zach. I just wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did. You really helped me. I’d like to thank you in person, so if you give me a call back, that would be great”.

Don’t just call and say this because you just want a call back; you need to mean it. Have a reason to be thankful for what your ex-girlfriend did for you. Perhaps she helped you see something you wouldn’t have seen if you’d stayed together. Perhaps you had a growing experience and you understand her reasons for needing to break off the relationship. She’s going to want to know this for two reasons: it makes her feel appreciated (satisfies the self-interest factor) and she’s going to want to know what she may have done to make you be appreciative of her after you guys are no longer an item (curiosity).

While this shows you’re a sensitive guy and care about your ex, don’t make the call and expect her to call you back until you’re completely ready and honest about what you have to say.

A breakup can take its toll on anyone who suffers one. It makes some people stop living because the pain is too much to bear. All you want to do is get a second chance with your ex. The pain, however hard it may be, should not stop you from living your life and getting a second chance with your ex. There are 5 tips to help you survive your breakup and achieve that objective.

(1)  Staying Active

It is very important to stay active even though all you want to do is sit on the couch, watch sad movies and eat ice cream all day long. This kind of behavior does not help your cause. Instead, get out and about. See your family and friends and earn their respect as well as the respect of your ex.

(2)  Avoid Negative Behavior

Don’t start drinking or using drugs to cope with the breakup. These things will only hurt your chances to getting back together with your ex. It may also lead you to doing some “drunk dialing”. That means calling your ex late at night and pouring your heart out. Nope. This is not a good route.

(3)  Avoid Contact

Do not go out of your way to see your ex for some time. If you try to talk with them during the initial breakup, it just adds to the stress you and your ex are feeling. Instead, stay away and don’t talk which can make your ex miss you. Isn’t that what you want after all?

(4)  Put Together a Plan

If you want a second chance with your ex, you’ll want to put together a plan that achieves that. Don’t let your emotions rule over you. Instead, follow your mind in this case. Keep to the plan no matter how lonely you feel.

(5)  Disappointment

Sometimes relationships don’t always work out. If this happens, don’t feel disappointed about it. Remember this phrase… when one door shuts, another door opens. There is someone out there for you. You just need to look.

Instead of mopping over your ex, you need to learn to get over it with grace and dignity. However, when he or she decides to come back around, make him work for your attention. Surviving a breakup is not an easy thing to do for some but there’s no point crying over some losers who do not deserve you.

If you want your ex back, it can be hard to know if the relationship even worth going after. After all, you’ve been dumped; your ex doesn’t want you back, right? Not always so. Your ex may want you; they may just need some time to figure this out on their own. Yet, how are you to know if there are any feelings left for you?

Actually, it’s pretty easy to figure out if your ex still has feelings for you. It doesn’t take a science degree to figure it out. All it takes is some knowledge about the emotional scale. Emotional scale? What’s this? It’s what lets people know how a person feels about them based on the different ranges. Love being on one side of the scale and hate on the opposite end. When you look at the scale, you can make these two emotions like this: intense (love)/ indifference (hate).

When a person has no real feelings for another person, they fall on the indifference side of the scale. However, when a person has strong feelings for someone, they fall to the inside side of the scale. How do you discern where you fall on this love/hate measurement? Start by watching how your ex acts toward you. Does it seem like you can talk as you did before or does the reception seem chilly?

Look at it like this: When you call your ex, does it seem like they never answer or are in a hurry to get off the phone with you? Does it seem like you are always the one calling? If so, then it’s probable that you are on the indifference side of the scale. You may have little chance to win your ex back when you are on this side.

However, if your ex calls you or doesn’t mind you contacting them, you still have a winning shot to get them back. It means they do still care about you and how you are doing. It may take some doing and you will definitely need a plan, but you can win your ex back. All you need to do is to stay off the indifference side of the scale.

It’s difficult going through a breakup for sure. However, you should know that it isn’t hopeless if you are sincere to get him or her back. Like most things that you do in life, you need a strategy. Follow that strategy to the tee but make sure you avoid some serious mistakes such as drunk dialing. Calling your ex while you’re drunk is the worst thing you can do and you’ll wonder why you ever did it in the first place.

It may seem like the pain of it all is too much to hand on your own. However, you do not need drugs or alcohol to deal with that pain. Remember, it is a temporary fix that could have some serious long term implications. You have to stay level headed so you don’t make mistakes that will risk jeopardizing your chance to get your ex back. The biggest mistake of all breakup mistakes is drunk dialing.

When does drunk dialing usually occur? It happens mostly at night, during the overnight hours. This is when your loneliness feeling hits home and you can’t stand the loss any longer. Calling up your ex can be even worse when you have ingested drugs or drank alcohol. As the stimulants go through your body, you begin to think of why you should call your ex. You think the call wouldn’t hurt. As time passes, this bad idea is a good idea in your mind only.

However, you go ahead and dial his or her number. As the dial tone turns to a ring, you realize you don’t know what to say. It goes to voicemail and what do you say…everything you should not say. You ramble on about how much you miss your ex. Thinking what you said will be enough, you hang the phone up, not feeling any much better than before you made the call.

When will you realize you made this call? It’s typically in the morning after the effects of the drugs and alcohol had worn off. Suddenly a light bulb in your head goes on and you realize how big of a fool you look making that phone call.

However, this problem of calling your ex while you are drunk is quite common. All you need to do is to control your emotions and feelings. Firstly, sober up and realize that life is not like what you see in movies. Appearing desperate and pathetic makes you a big-turnoff! If you want a chance to get your ex back, get yourself into healthy activities and be positive, instead of drinking yourself drunk.

 When you love someone and they leave, you’ll do whatever you can to win them back. However, finding that right anything can be a little tricky. You may find that your tactics are a bit more extreme than they need to be. One tactic you may try is to repeatedly call or get in touch with your ex. However, this is a big mistake. It’s called Text Message Terrorism and should be stop.

How is text message terrorism defined? Think of it this way… you call your ex many times in one day, thinking that if you stay on their mind, they’ll change their mind and come back to you. What you are essentially doing is driving your ex insane and running away from you.

Text message terrorism is limited to calling by phone or text messages. It can be done in many ways including: emails, voicemail or answering machines, messages via popular social websites, instant messages, being in places your ex is likely to be and contacting friends of your ex when you can’t get in contact with them.

Text message terrorism is a form of stalking. You may have every good intention of winning them back. However, trying to resolve those issues and put your relationship back on track won’t be done through this way.

Try looking at the situation through your ex’s perception. What kind of impression does this leave on you? Would you want to give your ex another chance who can’t stop calling you or who won’t leave you alone long enough to take a deep breathe and relax. Chances are you won’t and neither will your ex.

There are more positive ways to win back your ex, starting with giving your ex the break he or she needs to think about things. That means no contact, no text message terrorism for a bit of time… usually a month will do. After this month is over, contact your ex sparingly until you can gauge how things are going between the both of you.

When you don’t think clearly after a breakup (and most people don’t), it’s not hard to do things you will regret on down the road. Breakups and divorces have a profound effect on anyone’s life so it’s no real surprise that costly mistakes can and do happen. If you want to win back your ex, you should be aware of those five mistakes.

Breakup Errors (1) – Too Needy

One of the first things a significant other, who has just been broken up with does, is try to be with their ex all the time. However, this is a huge mistake and should never be done. The reason you were dumped is that your ex needed some space… away from you. While it’s cruel, it’s the truth. Give him or her the space they need so that you can deal with them on down the road.

Breakup Errors (2) – Text Message Terrorism

It’s time to stop calling or emailing your ex 50 times a day. This does little in the way of helping you. In fact, you become the psycho ex who just does not take a hint. The chances of them changing their phone number are probably good if you don’t quit this now.

Breakup Errors (3) – Lose of Emotional Control

It’s normal to feel out of control in this kind of situation but the worst thing you can do for yourself is to let it control you. Work through those emotions that you feel but no matter how dire the situation is, don’t let your pain rule your life. Face the day and keep moving ahead.

Breakup Errors (4) – Substance Abuse

It is so important that you do not turn to drugs or alcohol to deal with your pain. There are so many things that can go wrong when you do this. For instance, you decide to drink one night and call your ex up. While in your stupor you think this is a great idea, it’s no doubt the worst idea. All you come across has is a raving lunatic. It’s best to never pick up this costly habit.

Breakup Error (5) – Changing Your Ex

As much as men and women want to believe it, no one can change another person. You can’t control them and you certainly can’t force them to come back to you. However, you can do some changes that make them desire you all over again. Change what you can of yourself and it’s likely your ex will do the same.

When you have just been dumped, the first thing that comes to mind is the need to win him or her back immediately. You think to yourself that by being there for your ex, you can win them back. While this may be good in theory; reality does not work that way. There are 4 reasons to give your ex and yourself a break and some space for approximately few weeks.

Reason Number (1) – When a breakup just occurs, there are a lot of emotions going through your body. With it being such an emotional time, letting out how you feel can be disastrous and the damage can be irreparable. For this one reason alone, you should spend time away from your ex as possible. Give yourselves some space for about a month.

Reason Number (2) – No matter who dumped who, the feeling of loneliness is the same for both. If you stay apart, the chances of you being missed are great. The things that he or she believed were annoying about you and that might have led to the breakup will eventually lead to memories of those wonderful times you both had.

Reason Number (3) – Whether you know it or not, a breakup can lead to some insight into yourself. This is called self-growth and while you may be depressed about your breakup, you can also see it as a positive sign for a better you. You can look at yourself and turn around the things you don’t like about yourself. By making your pain work for you, you can change what you don’t like into something you do.

Reason Number (4) – Being alone doesn’t mean you have to mope. Go out with friends and start to have fun again, this time as a single person. If you have been doing some self-improvement techniques as number 3 suggests, then you may be getting all sorts of attention from those who are single as well. By going out and showing your ex that life can go on without him or her, it may inspire them to get jealous. This tends to make them start thinking of you once again about what could have been.

By being able to give your ex and yourself some space, you are able to move on past the hurt that you may feel. You don’t have to feel like getting your ex back; but as long as you utilize these 4 things, it is always an option.

After a relationship as dissolved, it’s not easy for exes to talk to one another even more so on the phone. People tend to make mistakes when they try to reach their ex on the phone but it can be achieved once you have the right way figured out. If you want your ex to call you back, you need a few simple sentences to kick start their interest. That way your phone will be ringing instead of theirs.

Why isn’t your ex returning your call? Perhaps what you are saying is scaring them away. There are 3 kinds of phone messages/calls that is likely to drive away your ex further, never mind not call you back. These 3 things are: pleading, fake emergencies and heartfelt speeches.

Phone Mistake Number (1) – Pleading

Whether you know it or not, a pleading voice will not assure you a call back from your ex. All it does is drive him or her away, glad to be away from any desperation that you may feel. One such example of a pleading call is, “I miss you. Would you please call me back so we can talk? I hate it when I can’t hear your voice. Please just call me back as soon as you can.”

Phone Mistake Number (2) – Fake Emergency

What is a fake emergency? It’s when you call your ex telling him/her to call you back because it is an emergency. Chances are there is no emergency (though you may feel like it is) and they will see right through that. What does doing this make you? It shows that you are desperate and over dramatic. This kind of action goes in hand with the pleading too.

Phone Mistake Number (3) – Heartfelt Speeches

Don’t rely on those romance movies where one partner makes a speech to his/her beloved on the phone and when they see each other, they run into each other’s arms, forgiving them. Real life is never like the movies. For one thing, an answering machine or voicemail will cut you off midstream. Or you get the whole thing said and the wrong effect is felt. Leaving heartfelt messages on phones and answering machines gives off the impression of desperation and you will seem weak in their eyes.

These 3 tips are things you need to keep in mind when wanting to leave a message for your ex if you want your ex to call you back. So with this in mind, what do you need to say? Say something that will peak his/her curiosity and their self-interest. Try saying something like this, “Hey, how is it going? I thought I’d tell you thank you for what you did. If you call me back, I’d like to tell you this in person.” There is no sign of weakness and you’ll raise their curiosity level.

Before you even leave a message on the phone like this, make sure you have some sort of plan in place. If you want your ex to call you back, you better know what you are going to say that may peak their curiosity. Never talk to them without some sort of plan. Also, you aren’t doomed to failure if you made those above phone call mistakes. You can always redeem yourself.