Posts Tagged ‘getting your ex back’

Getting Your Ex Back – Snags and How to Avoid

Monday, January 25th, 2010

Have you ever got something caught in a zipper?  Notice that no matter how you pull, it’s almost impossible to keep zipping that zipper up or down.  A breakup is like the thing that snagged your zipper, and just like a zipper, when a relationship ends continuing to pull the zipper in the blocked direction is going to be a struggle and can often ruin the zipper.

The efforts of pulling on the zipper to get it free are like communication with your ex when things have ended.  The harder you try to continue pulling in the direction that the zipper got caught, the worse the situation is likely to get.  When you continue calling your ex with hopes of getting back with him/her, you’re ruining your chances of restarting your relationship.

The best way to get a zipper unstuck is to pull away and separate the loose item and usually zipping in the opposite direction before being able to continue zipping up or down.  The same holds true for a rocky relationship.  Pull yourself away from your ex and give him/her time as well as yourself.  You’ll be amazed at how much smoother getting your ex will be after about a month’s time of distance.

Snags to avoid with your ex are things like “drunk dial” or “text message terrorism.”  Both have a tendency to seem rational because how can your ex know how you still feel and how you’re doing if you don’t keep in touch?  Well, he/she won’t.  That’s okay because when you get the chance to make your reappearance, he/she will be shocked by how pulled together you managed to stay after the breakup.

When you keep up both those forms of communication you’re setting yourself up for more snags in your zipper.  If you’re constantly letting your ex know how you’re doing, he/she is less likely to miss you, he/she is going to see how vulnerable and desperate you became, and he/she is likely to get sick of you and will from that point on always see you as an irritant.  This is not a good way getting your ex back.

Your Ex Boyfriend You’ll Never Guess Why He Left

Monday, December 14th, 2009

It’s a cliché today that men are from Mars and women are from Venus and that one will never really understand the other.  Whether that’s true or not, we generally get on pretty well.  But there will always be some mysteries in the mind of your partner that you may never be able to fathom.

You may well find that one of those mysteries is why your boyfriend left you.  There might be a dozen reasons running through your head as the shock sinks in.  Some will probably be faults in him; others might be shortcomings you perceive in yourself.  Or there might be a third party you hold responsible.

Well, yes, there are lots of different reasons, but I’ll let you on a surprising secret.  Professionally gathered data suggests there is one reason, which is far more common than any other.  And once you hear it you’ll see what a significant bearing it will have on the way you intend to go about getting your ex back.

The vast majority of men will freely admit to therapists that they walked out of a relationship because nothing they did ever seem to make their girlfriends happy.

Probably not what you were expecting, is it?  He wasn’t bored with you.  He wasn’t seeing someone else.  What did it for him was that all he could see at the heart of the relationship was dissatisfaction.  What he perceived to be your unhappiness and his powerless to change it led to his own unhappiness.  And at that point he didn’t see any point in going on.

If you thought you knew your boyfriend, think again.  The most important thing to him is seeing you happy.  And if he can make you happy he’s got everything he needs.

But if you weren’t unhappy how did he get the idea that you were?  You stopped showing him.  So he stopped believing. But if you’re lucky there’s time to put it right.  Just make sure that this time you really do show him how good he makes you feel. Go to this page for more: http://breakupcures.com/GetExBack.php

Getting Your Ex Back from Someone Else’s Arms

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

When a relationship ends, it leaves behind scars of pain, confusion and even resentment.  These scars can heal and people can move on.  However, sometimes moving on is not on the agenda because you can’t stop loving and wanting him. It’s a normal reaction to finally being alone after some time. This is even more so if you know your ex is already seeing someone else and you are left with no choices.  Thinking of getting your ex back seems impossible…This is not necessarily so.  Just because he is with someone else, it doesn’t mean the door is closed and locked.  There might be a way you can get back in.

If he’s already chosen to be with someone else then it’s extremely likely that he’s done this on the rebound. That kind of relationship is usually short-lived and is largely entered into as a temporary replacement for the serious one that has just ended and as a source of solace and support.  It doesn’t mean he has moved on.  It means he’s trying to.

Have confidence in yourself and your history together.  Make a resolve to wait it out patiently and make sure he continues to see you at your best… in terms of how you look and in what you say and what you do.  By doing this, it will give him strong and consistent reminders of everything he ever saw in you.  Then, if his fledgling relationship is indeed failing to take flight, those reminders might be the things that send him back into your arms.  As the saying goes, you never know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Get more tips here: http://themagicofmakingup.com/makingup

How No Communication is Key to Getting Your Ex Back

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

It makes sense that when you want to get back with your ex you should constantly show him how you’re changing and what you’re doing in your life to show that you’re making yourself better for him, right? That may make sense but love isn’t a rational thing and the better solution to getting your ex back is to cut off all communication for a while.

It would seem that no communication would backfire on you but it actually makes perfect sense. How so? A relationship requires making several deep connections. When those connections are severed, the mind and body doesn’t know how to react. Emotions are still there but you don’t know how to express them because your outlet has been taken from you. There are two rational solutions: cut off all power (emotions) or try to find the outlet so you can express those emotions again. Again, love isn’t rational.

Like an electrician caps off exposed wires, you need to cap off your emotions. Put a guard on them and let your heart and self start to heal. If you continue to expose yourself you’re only going to hurt someone – and that’s most likely to be yourself.

Taking time for yourself after heartbreak will allow you to grow and mature in a way you didn’t know you could. You may have heard of the saying, “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”, well, a breakup isn’t going to kill you; therefore, it will only make you stronger.

Also, by severing all communication, your ex is going to get the time he needs to wrap up any loose end wires he may have felt were exposed and need to be capped. Or he may realize that the connection he had with you was a brilliant connection and he’ll want you back. He won’t be able to realize this if you’re constantly around zapping him with your exposed emotions.

In the end it is very likely that he’ll be kicking himself for letting you go and he’ll want that connection you shared before. You’ll both be able to take the caps off your emotions so they can be intertwined to create a powerful connection.

What Not To Do If You Want To Get Your Ex Back

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

If you have just slit up with your ex I know how you feel. Sometimes that empty feeling is unbearable. And if they play another love song on the radio you?ll go crazy right? With all of these emotions flowing though you it?s good to put them in check if you are interested in knowing How to get my ex back.

When trying to get your ex back there are some things you must avoid. I am telling you these things from personal experience. It?s not like I had a plan and the plan went wrong. A lot of what I did was out of emotion and it did nothing to get ex back. I was left in the cold however, I learned from my mistakes and if you are wise you can learn from my mistakes.

When my ex and I split up I had reach my boiling point. During one of our episodes it when down like this. We always use to argue because of the time my ex was spending from home. My ex worked nights and I worked days. I use to pick up our child from day care, get home and fix dinner and wait for my ex to get home. Many times my ex came home late or not at all. Living together this drove me absolutely insane.

Yes insane I was that night when my ex didn?t stray from the pattern that they where use to. Another night coming home late was it for me, Once my ex hot the door I said, ?Get out.? With such force it was made clear that I was serious. Of course that night my ex did not leave, but the next day was a different thing.
I was coming home from work and whose car did I see packed to capacity rolling out of the neighborhood? Yes, you guessed right it was my ex. Zoom, I just let her pass trying to be strong. I turned in to my parking space and went up to the apartment we shared and boom it was void of all of my ex?s stuff. Just like a rushing wind it hit me, my ex was gone.

For the next couple of days I spend my day in the bed. I called myself trying to get myself together. Looking back on it I was dealing with a bout of depression. It got so bad that it affected my college work and caused me to drop out. It didn?t help that I was keeping the apartment a total disaster area; clothes everywhere, dishes piled up in the sink.
I just couldn?t take it anymore my life was falling apart. On top of that I broke me lease and move in with my mom.

It gets even worst in my attempt to get my ex back. One day I set up a date so we could go out to dinner and I was stood up by my ex. The heartbreak and the pain continued with me stalking here to find out what she was doing.

All of this in the name of love I was crazy and all of the actions I took made my ex even more distant than before. If you are looking to get your ex back please do not follow any of the actions I took. You need to have a plan that works a guide that explains a proven method to getting you ex back. If I could do if over again I would use the tips in The Magic of Making up guide. It has helped thousand and it could help you today.

Making Amends: How Observation Is Key to Getting Your Ex Back

Friday, June 19th, 2009

If you have ever been dumped, you know how bad it can be to make it through the day, much less an hour. However, you get past the hurt and depression and want to make amends with your ex. However, how do you know if they wish to do the same thing with you? Is there any easy way to find out without just outright asking them?

You certainly don’t have to do something that extreme to find out if they still want you back too. It’s pretty simple to find out this much needed answer. How can you do this? Watch him or her and see how they react to you. Do they try to speak with you when they get a chance even though the relationship is over? Observation is the key in getting the answer you need.

For instance, does it seem like your ex has a knack of calling you back when you leave him or her messages? If they don’t take any effort on their part to return your calls, chances are they don’t feel for you as they once did and want to move on without you in their lives. Keep in mind that it’s not a complete loss. Some relationships have worked out even if this was the case. It just meant the ex needed more time to deal with their emotions.

However, if it seems your ex is friendly and wants to stay in contact with you, you have a winning shot of making amends with your ex. If it seems your ex is doing all the contact, then it means he/she hasn’t stopped thinking of you, cares about you and wonders if he/she made the right decision in breaking up with you. It may mean they are having a difficult time letting you go even though they are the one they broke up with you.

You will learn a lot more when you visit http://www.themagicofmakingup.com

7 Tell-tale Signs to Know For Sure If Your Ex Wants You Back

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

Do you desire to have your ex back in your arms? If so, then you have already crossed a great hurdle: admitting you want your ex back. It can be difficult to deal with the aftermath of a breakup especially if there are feelings of love still there.

You may want your ex back but you also want to make sure you have a chance to win them back. The fact is you aren’t the only one out there thinking how to know for sure.

Studies have been done and there is actually 7 good ways to find out if your ex wants to give you another chance as well.

Signs (1) – Body Language

A person’s body language speaks volumes without them ever having to utter a single word. The signal your body sends out tells others your true feelings. People may be unaware of this fact as well. If you can keep in touch with your body and master those feelings, than you’ll know how they feel about you.

Look at the direction he or she is facing. Does it seem like any part of their body is facing yours? If you can’t see for sure, look a little closer. What about their thumb, their elbow… anything that can be construed to be in your direction means he or she may be thinking of you. They may be keeping an eye on you without you even knowing.

However, if you aren’t for sure through this signs, look at the face. Unfortunately, faces cannot hide what people feel inside. Often times when a person is interested in someone, they light up when they are around. Their demeanor may change to jubilant. People may try to act subtle but often times, it fails. If you want ex back, look for a sign like this.

Signs (2) – Eye Contact

Did you ever think holding a person’s eye contact could tell you how much in love they are with you? If you can hold a person’s eye contact for about 75% of a conversation, you and the other person are in love. If you need more clues when making eye contact, let the pupils do the talking for you. A dilated pupil means the person is attracted to you.

Signs (3) – Copycat

Have you gone to a party and there is your ex, hanging out in the corner? Be sure to watch them as you move about. Are they mimicking your steps and actions? If so, then chances are they still want you back. Copying your movements is a sign that he or she is thinking of you.

Signs (4) – What’s Said

Watch for the things they say about you. If they are always adding you in a sentence, it means you’ve been on their mind. When an ex still wants you back, they often, without even realizing it themselves, will want your approval. If you need to, listen for any emotions in their voice while they speak with you. When your moods match while talking, there are still feelings there.

Signs (5) – Appearance Improvement

People always want to look their best but when they are aiming to get their ex back they try really hard to improve their appearance and stance. Remember they want to send the signal out that they want you and want you to pay attention to them. They may start to lose a little weight, exercise more often or keep adjusting their clothes in front of you. These are usually less caught signs but signs nonetheless.

Signs (6) – Stay Awhile

Does it seem like they are always around more often than not even though you are broken up? Does it seem like they call and want to talk all the time? If so, then it’s a sign that they still want to be with you.

Signs (7) – Drop a Line

Do they always send you messages in any form?  It doesn’t have to be every day but as long as there is contact, you’re doing well. You don’t have to take a no contact sign as a bad one either. You may not realize it but you still have a good shot of getting your ex back.

2 Mistakes People Made When Trying To Get Their Ex Back

Wednesday, April 1st, 2009

Your mind will be muddled after a relationship suddenly ends because you’ll be wondering what you did, what you could have done better and you’ll want to prove to your ex that you know he/she’s right. You’ll have these reactions because, instinctively, you want to feel better. Just like when you burn your hand on the stovetop you cradle your hurt appendage. When your heart is broken, you’re going to want to reach out to the soothing comfort your now ex had always provided before. However, when your mind is overpowered by your instincts, you can make some irreversible mistakes that will ruin your chances of getting your ex back.

1. Being clingy
Your primary reaction is going to want to “cling” to your ex. As mentioned, he/she is your band-aid that gives you comfort. When you’re as hurt as you can get after a breakup, your mind is wild with the shooting pain from your heart and can only think of one person to mend. However, being clingy is detrimental to the health of your relationship.  The nurturing you need should come from friends and family. Stay away from clinging to your ex because it makes you look bad and desperate.

2. Continuously texting and calling
Another reaction that is related to the first but different enough to earn its own mention is to continuously call, text, IM or email your ex.  No matter what you have to explain in whichever method of communication you choose, there is a better way to go about dealing with your feelings. Again, trying to keep in contact with your ex is clingy and desperate and should most certainly be avoided. After you’ve had some time to cool down and take your breakup in perspective, a text or email might be okay. However, you have to do this cautiously and sparingly and always wait for a response.

When you try to call, you’re usually not top notch and completely ready to be talking to your ex. More often than not you’re just going to make a spectacle of yourself that you’ll regret later down the road.

Each of these reactions to a breakup are natural, however, just as nature can prove to be devastating, so can your instinct. If you’ve already made these mistakes, it’s okay. Start over with a new resolve to not be clingy or contact your ex before he/she is ready. If you haven’t made these mistakes, that’s great. Keep up the good work and look forward to the future with hope that, someday, your relationship with your ex will right itself.

Getting Your Ex Back? Stop These 5 Silly Mistakes

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

When you have been dumped, your life can feel completely out of control but this out of control feeling does not have to ruin your chances of getting your ex back. As long you deal with the hurt, you can keep from damaging the possibility of getting them back. However, you need to steer clear of several common mistakes that can destroy your chance of convincing your ex to give you a second chance.

 

Do not go with your first instincts right after you have been dumped. Why? It’s like a rug being yanked out from underneath you, you begin to panic. You’ll do whatever comes to your mind to save your relationship. However, anything like this, can actually hurt you rather than help you get your ex back. There are five common mistakes you should avoid doing right after the break up.

 

(1)  Stop Stressing Yourself

 

It’s not hard to stress over the things you can’t help. However, all you are doing is adding those wrinkle worry lines to your face and driving people close to you nuts. If you really want to get your ex back, you’ll have to push aside how you really feel and start dealing with it. Be sure to get motivated about getting him or her back. You should already know that time isn’t going to fix the issue; you are going to have to deal with it yourself.

 

(2)  Fall Back Into the Routine

 

If you and your ex want to make another go of the relationship, don’t act like everything is good. If you pick up from where you left off, you still have the problems that plagued you both the first time around. Saying sorry isn’t going to fix all your issues. If getting your ex back is what you really want then you better put a ton of effort into making the relationship work.

 

(3)  Don’t Purse If Your Ex Moves On

 

It’s not hard to see that as time passes the further and further away your chances become to get your ex back. If it looks like he or she has moved on without you, walk away. Don’t purse them because it makes you look like a psycho and you could be charged with stalking. If your ex recently got married or will be getting married, it’s a sign that you need to stop trying to bring you two back together. Yes, it may hurt. However, not everyone is meant to be. You have to accept that life does continue without them in your life.

 

(4)  Don’t be Aggressive

 

Sometimes a little aggressiveness is a good trait. However, after you have broken up, being aggressive just add stress to you and your ex’s plate. If you want to get your ex back, do it smoothly and gently. Don’t speak about feelings or show attention all the time. Why? This only acerbates the feeling of uneasy and aggressiveness.

 

(5)  Make Your Own Changes

 

Understand that a breakup is a two way street. Look to yourself to find out what you did wrong in the relationship. If you do make changes, keep yourself in check. If you are getting back together or have gotten back together, the last thing you want to do is revert back to your old self. Doing this is kind of like lying and the chances of a breakup occurring again are possible.

 

These may seem like pretty easy and avoidable mistakes; however, there are many people who make them. It’s very important to resolve any issues in the relationship you have before you try getting your ex back. If you can avoid these 5 mistakes, then you do have a fighting shot.

 

7 Steps to Get Your Ex Back Even Though He’s Moved On

Thursday, February 19th, 2009

Do you think that getting your ex back even though he’s moved on impossible? Remember this…nothing is impossible. Don’t sit around weeping because you lost him. Do something about it and win him back. Here are seven tips to help you win back your ex even if he’s moved on with his life with someone else.

Tip Number 1 – Convincing Him

If you’re really serious about winning him back, you have to convince him that he still loves you and wants you back too. Chances are your ex will still have a little to do with you so try using the steps below to convince him that he still loves you.

Tip Number 2 – Friends

Always be a friend to your ex. Even if your breakup tore you both apart, try being there for him when he needs a friend to lean on or a sympathetic ear to listen to his problems. Show him that you can still be friends without the drama of the past creeping back up. Joke and laugh with him. Learn to be friends once more. Before he knows it, his feelings for you may be ignited despite the fact that he is in another relationship.

Tip Number 3 – Sweet but Sassy

Every man wants a woman who is kind but also one that is a bit sassy. You want your ex boyfriend to want you but you need to show him that he can’t have you just because he wants you for the moment. Don’t play games with his heart but don’t give in easily either.

Tip Number 4 – Flirting/Jealousy

You always want to play a little hard to get without overdoing it. You certainly want to hang out with your other friends and go on dates with other people. Jealousy isn’t a bad thing in certain cases because he leads him to believe that you aren’t as available as he thought which might make him desire you further. However, if you do it too often, it can backfire and leave you cold.

Tip Number 5 – Avoid Being Desperate

The key to winning back your ex is to play the whole thing cool. Never let him know that the breakup hurt more than you let on. Make him aware that everything is fine the way it is and you would like to be his friend. Certainly acting desperate will only push him further away.

Tip Number 6 – Catching Each Other’s Eyes

Try catching glances at each other when you can. Any glance toward each other lets the other person know that they are thinking about them.

Tip Number 7 – Reminders of the Past

Remind him of the good times you shared together. When you talk about the good memories, you force him to rethink about them too. How good you used to be together and why it never should have ended. If you can, avoid talks on bad memories or why the breakup occurred.

By following these seven simple tips, you are on your way to get your ex boyfriend back even if he’s moved on with his life.  Use your brain and your heart to see that your goal of winning him back is attained.