Posts Tagged ‘lets be friends’

Lets Just Be Friends? The Phrase that Spells the End?

Monday, November 9th, 2009

Nobody wants to hear this.  Everybody just knows bad news is on the way. You thought your relationship was serious but now the walls have fallen in.  If she loves then, well, she loves you, so why does she want things to change? Is she trying to let you down gently?  Or is there more to it than that?

Here are the most likely explanations of what she means, and some good advice on how to react and deal with it.

The first thing to realize is that, even though she’s using these words, let’s just be friends’, she might not have a clear idea of what she wants and how she feels.  Obviously something has changed in your relationship to the extent that she feels the need to reclassify it.  In the worst situations this really does mean it’s over, and there’s no getting around that.

But, if she’s more confused than convinced then ‘lets just be friends’ could be posing two subtly different propositions:

Situation A - “We had something great for a while, but things change and I just don’t think our relationship has any future.  Please don’t be mad at me – I just think it’s for the best”.

Situation B - “We used to feel so strongly about each other, but I’m not sure if that strength is still there.  We’ve had some rough times and I need space and time to think about the future – but I’m not saying I don’t want to see you any more”.

If it’s situation A, then it’s time for you to accept that this is the end of the road.  Don’t waste time and hope on a relationship that’s history.  But if it’s situation B, then she’s still open to persuasion. Tread carefully, take your time and find out what it would take to get things back on track.

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What Does He Really Mean When He Says, “Let’s Be Friends”?

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

You may have heard this phrase “Let’s be friends” before. Now having the man you love tell you that he just wants to be friends can be a very painful experience. Once you have recovered from the shock you may have questions as to what he really means by that phrase.

 

It may be that what he really wanted to say is that he has lost interest in you or that he has found someone that he finds more interesting.  In this case he only used the “Let’s be friends” line to make the break up easier on you and himself. He really has no desire to keep any kind of relationship going with you even a friendship.

 

Sometimes, however, what he means is that he is confused about how he feels about you and he needs some time and space to try to figure it out.  He may simply need to take a breather from the relationship in order to be able to see its value.  Often in these situations, when you are not around as much, he will realize just how much he does want you in his life and come back.

 

It is also possible that the thought of “being in love” is terrifying to him. Maybe he was in a bad relationship before and is afraid of getting hurt again. Learning to trust ones own feelings can take a while.  Over time he may learn to believe in your feelings for him and his feelings for you and you two may get a chance to try again. Read more here: http://www.squidoo.com/discover-magic-of-making-up

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Does “Let’s Be Friends” Always Mean the End of a Relationship?

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Men have long been afraid of hearing the words “Let’s just be friends” come from their girlfriends’ lips. Those four words together are perhaps the most feared in the dating vocabulary. Men believe that with those words they are hearing the end of their relationship and whatever future they may have planned with this woman.  Sometimes that is the case… however, that’s not always the case.

 

Sometimes, when a man hears that phrase it’s for a good reason they should be concerned. There are the times when a woman tells a man she is only interested in a friendship, what she is really saying is that she wants to break up and be done with him completely.  She may say this to soften the blow of the break up.  Other times, she means exactly what she says. Although she does not want a romantic relationship, she does still enjoy spending time with him.  In this case, there is a good possibility that he may be able to rekindle the relationship.

 

If a man believes that his girlfriend means the words, “Let’s be friends”, he must proceed very carefully.  He must work to remind her why the two of them were together in the first place without making her feel pressured.  She may have broken up with him because she was unsure just how she felt about him. She may need the time away to sort out her feelings.  If he pursues her aggressively while she is trying to get her head wrapped around her feelings, he is likely to scare her away.

 

Time, patience and understanding are what are needed from a man in this situation.  If he is willing to give his ex-girlfriend the time to find her own path, he may find that her path leads right back to his arms. You can learn a lot more here: http://www.squidoo.com/discover-magic-of-making-up

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