Posts Tagged ‘No Contact Rule’

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No Contact Rule: Why It Should Be Followed

Monday, May 4th, 2009

Should you or should you not contact your ex? What is this no contact rule about? This question nags every person who has been dumped? The loss of the relationship can be overwhelming and you may want to try and win them back right away. However, there are many reasons you should not speak with your ex for around a month.

You already know that emotions run high after a breakup. For that reason, a couple who decides to split (whether it’s a mutual agreement or one-sided agreement) should take a hiatus from seeing one another. Remember that absence does make the heart grow fonder. It’s important to cut off all contact, typically as soon as the breakup has occurred. When you follow this no contact rule, healing can begin and you can move past any hard feelings.

Do you wish to have your ex back? It’s okay to long for their touch, for their arms to be wrapped around you. It’s kind of like a security blanket. Despite this, you still need to take this month long no contact rule to put everything back into focus. A month is all you need to get your head thinking straight, realize how you actually feel and what you want and need to do. You can even come up with a plan to win back your ex. This not only works for you but for your ex as well.

What does this no contact rule means? It means everything. No phone calls, no text messages, no voicemail calls, no e-mails, no instant messages though a messenger programs and no going to where you know they will be at. However, you can’t always avoid them. If you work together, or pass each other while out and about, be civil. Just do not try to get personal with your ex. Separation is necessary if you want to grow back together again. They may not see it the way you do but they will if you give it time and stay away.

It’s also normal to have anxiety that your ex will find someone they are more attracted to than you. It’s normal for a rebound relationship to occur. It’s rare that they work out. If you really want to get past the heartbreak, you have to acknowledge the fact that both of you may not be right for one another. If you think there is still a chance, then go for it. Yet, you have to recognize signs that there is no chance of reconciliation.

Thus it’s vital to keep the no contact rule for the month after the breakup if you wish to win back your ex. Let the wounds heal releases the stress that is typically felt by all involved. After this month, you’ll know for sure if your ex is truly your soul mate or if it wasn’t meant to be.

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3 Effective Rules to Reel Him Back

Sunday, March 15th, 2009

Do you believe that your ex breaking up with you was a bad idea? Do you believe that both of you should be together and spend the rest of your life with one another? You don’t want to look desperate when you ask him to give you another chance.  Would you be surprised to learn that there is something you can do about this? If you want him back, you don’t have to say anything because he’ll come back on his own.

(1)  No Contact with Your Ex

When you breakup with your ex, break off any contact for about a month. This means you stop communication with them by text message, no e-mails, phone calls and you can’t be in the same places he is in.

Why is this so important? Remember the phrase, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”? If you are always around, he won’t be able to miss you. You have to keep away from him in order for him to miss you. That’s your first devious way to get him back in your arms.

Physical and Emotional Makeovers

Once the breakup occurs, start working on your physical and emotional appearances. It may seem vain but its one good way in reeling your ex back and make him to notice you once again. It may be evil to trick them in this way but if you want to get back on your ex’s mind, it is the way to go.

(2)  Physical Appearance – If you don’t like the way you are, do something about it. Get a new hair style or hair color. Buy some new clothes or shoes. If you don’t like how much you weigh, then start losing those weights. You don’t have to be a knockout, just find what brings out your best qualities and run with it.

(3)  Emotional Appearance – Once you have gotten your new looks squared away, get out with some friends on the town. Sure, you may still be reeling from the breakup pain but he doesn’t have to know this. In fact, go out and have some fun. Start getting the attention of other men. You need to feel attractive again. Your man will be jealous in return.

These 3 things are very effective in getting what you want dearly… your ex. If he sees you as if you are moving on, he’ll wonder why he ever let you go. If he comes back on his own, you know you want him and would work your best to treasure him more.  If not, then use this month to heal and get on with your life.

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2 Big Silly Mistakes People Make In Getting Their Ex Back

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

When you have been dumped, it’s not uncommon to decide that you’ll do whatever it takes to get them back. However, it’s not as easy as you may think it is. There are some common mistakes made when trying to achieve this goal. Unfortunately, the damage that is done by these mistakes can be irreparable.

 

Understand that if you know what to avoid, you can do this easily. Listed below are the 2 biggest mistakes that people make.

 

(1)  Avoid Being Clingy/Needy and Desperate

 

When you have been dumped, all sorts of negative things start going through your mind. You may think that being near your ex the entire time will actually win him or her back but this actually has a negative effect. Remember, panicking is a natural reaction to the situation but staying near by the entire time is the worst thing you can do. Ask yourself this question… will your ex miss you if you are with him or her the entire time? The answer is simple… they can’t. Give them and yourself some space. The distance that you put between you only works in your favor. While you may think you are doing the right thing by always hanging around, it proves to them that you are clingy, needy and desperate. Don’t let them have this image of you. Instead, break off contact for a good month before you try to talk with them again. Time away is a good thing for your cause.

 

There are cases where you just can’t stop talking such as work or school. If this happens to be your case, be civil to one another when you have to speak. However, this is not ground for talking outside of these places again. Stick to the no contact rule after you have left them

 

(2)  Using Negatives Outlets to Cope

 

Turning to alcohol or drugs is the worst thing you can do. Your judgment and reflexes are so impaired that you forget essentially right from wrong. One thing you may try and do is to plead your case with your ex. This is typically called drunk dialing.

 

Normally done in the overnight hours, you may feel lonely and decide that calling your ex is a smart thing. Wrong. Those drinks you have downed or that butt you just gave to a friend is actually making this bad idea good. All you are doing is reaffirming what they already suspected… that you are a needy and psycho. Don’t give them this satisfaction that they were right about you. When everything is out of your system, you are going to feel really stupid about your actions. If you want to drink, do it in moderation and don’t take any drugs. You can really ruin your chances if you do this.

 

If you want your ex back, just be an improved you. Sometimes time is all you both need to heal the wounds and broken heart. If you want to get them back, give yourselves both this time and be patient.

 

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Text Message Terrorism: Why You Need to Stop This Mistake

Monday, February 9th, 2009

Breakups can cause a bit of turmoil for the couple involved and the friends that help them through it. However, breakups are a time when most people aren’t relying on their common sense to see through the tough times. In fact, the lack of common sense that they have leads to greater problems including making the mistake of doing text message terrorism.

What is text message terrorism? Its name is what it implies. When you are desperate to talk with your ex about inane things, you’ll try every method of communication to get a hold of them. The inane things have nothing to do with what you are calling about. Be honest with yourself. You are calling to keep in touch with your ex so they will know you are still around.

Remember text message terrorism isn’t just getting a hold of your ex via text messages. It’s getting in touch with them through the phone lines, through the internet using email or instant messengers like Yahoo, MSN or Skype. Any method of contact can be construed as text message terrorism.

Do you want to get back together with your ex? If so, you have to be respectful of their wishes and not contacting them many times every single day. Constant unwanted contact is actually harassment. You don’t come across as fun and loving but desperate, needy and a little psychotic.

Text message terrorism will only send your ex further away from you. No contact is best for your situation. Think about it. If you broke up with someone, would you want to constantly have messages from them, asking you to return their calls? Remember, the breakup occurred because of a breakdown in communications. Keep this in mind as you dial your ex’s number to leave yet another message.

What can you do? First, stop what you are doing and breathe deeply. Remember that text message terrorism is not the way to win your ex’s heart so find another better way to reconnect with them. However, give yourself and your ex a period of time with no contact and see what comes of it.

 

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Win Your Ex Back: Follow a Five-Step Method

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

Everyone can agree that breakups are cruel and leave behind a mess of feelings from anger to hurt to depression. However, the breakup doesn’t have to be difficult to deal with. If you want a way to move forward with your life easily, use these five steps to win back your ex.

Win Your Ex Back Step 1 – Take Your Time

A big mistake many people make is rushing their ex to decide whether to give them a second chance or not. Actually, this can be very bad. Be sure you don’t give your ex a lot of attention. In fact, don’t talk with or see them for some time that way your ex can gather their thoughts and find out what they want. You may be surprised that space works wonders when you are trying to win them back.

Win Your Ex Back Step 2 – Analyze What Happened

During this no-contact time, you should be trying to figure out the things that went wrong for you in the relationship. While you can’t fix their side of things, you can work on yours. Find out what were the main sticky points that led to the breakup that way if you do get a second chance, those same mistakes won’t rear their ugly heads again.

Win Your Ex Back Step 3 – Light Contact

Okay, so you let a month pass, right? Now this is the time that you can make some contact with your ex. However, don’t get into a long drown out tirade about things. Try keeping the conversation light, asking how they have been and what they have been up to. The worst thing you can do is to plead your case. Take things slow and see how things are from there.

Win Your Ex Back Step 4 – Spend Time Together

Once everything seems kosher with breakup mess, you’re liable to spend time with your ex. Do things as a couple but do them as if you are a new couple. You can always do things that you both used to enjoy together but don’t dwell on the past. Memories of the good times are likely to occur and rekindle those long lost feelings. This is the time to remind your ex how you once were and why they were in love with you in the first place.

Win Your Ex Back Step 5 – Keeping Your Ex

Now that you have your second chance, you have to keep it. The changes you made to win them over have to be kept up. Do it for them and for yourself. If you let your “bad” side show again, you aren’t likely to get a third chance.

You have to make sacrifices when you really love someone. Make sure you meet your partner’s needs and if something seems amiss talk to them about your feelings. You don’t want to let anything fester and ruin your second chance.

 

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5 Helpful Steps to Get Through a Breakup

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

It may look like it’s the end with your ex but it doesn’t have to be that way. Breakups do keep people from moving on with their lives. It is not easy to get through a painful breakup. After all, it’s a life-changing situation. However, when you can keep yourself together by following these five steps listed below, you can continue living and perhaps have your ex in your life again.

Step 1 – Don’t Get Depressed

It’s very important that you do not allow the situation to bring you down into a depression. Depression can keep you from living your life. It’s important that you are with people who care about you and that you can deal with a life-changing event.

Step 2 – Don’t Do Drugs or Alcohol

Alcohol and drugs never do anyone any good when it comes to dealing with your troubles. These items are downers and can lead you to doing bigger mistakes such as drunk dialing. They also worsen any depression feelings you may have.

Step 3 – Break the Contact

Abide by the No Contact rule for a month. It’s very important to do this because it gives you both the time to heal open wounds. This is the time when you can also miss each other too. Distance does make the heart from fonder.

Step 4 – Have a Plan

It’s important, before you start back talking, that you have a plan on what you want out of the relationship and how you will get your ex back. You also want a plan that works so be sure you add in the correct ways to handle matters such as seeing your ex out with other people and whatnot. Once this plan has developed, don’t stop following it.

Step 5 – Acceptance

Remember that not all relationships will work out. You can do everything right by your plan and still not have it come out the way you want it. Not every couple is compatible together so be aware of this fact when you are trying to win back your ex. Find happiness with someone else.

These are just five tips that can help you to get through or win back your ex but there are many more things involved with this topic. The most important thing to remember is to never go blindly trying to win them back. When you do, you are liable to make mistakes that will hurt your chances for a positive outcome.

 

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Top 3 Errors That Hurt Your Chances to Win Back Your Ex

Monday, January 12th, 2009

Whenever you have been dumped, it can be hard to take. You may panic about what you are going to do now that your significant other is no longer. You may discover that you are making some severe mistakes that could cost you a second chance with your ex. However, the mistakes were a natural reaction to your hurt feelings. It’s important to know what these mistakes are before you end up hurting your chances of winning them back.

Tip 1 – Not Maintaining Your Distance

It’s very important that distance between the both of you is given. After all, when a breakup occurs, it’s because someone needs some distance from the other person. How much distance? Well, to put it simply… you should have no contact with your ex for about a month. If you have to work with your ex, then be civil but don’t get personal. The idea is to have your ex miss you. You can’t be missed if you are still seeing each other, even if it’s not in a romantic way. Backing off the contact does help you win your ex back.

Tip 2 – Turning To Negative Outlets

Never turn to alcohol and drugs to solve your relationship problems. Not only are they unhealthy for you physically but mentally and emotionally too. Remember alcohol is a depressant but you don’t want to feel depressed during this time. It only makes the feelings much more intense and it could lead to another embarrassing problem like drunk dialing. Find more positive alternatives to relieve you of your pain and misery.

Tip 3 – Too Much Attention

You never want to give your ex too much attention. It goes back to rule number one. You have to remain a no contact rule. Why? If you are talking to each other on a regular basis, how can you miss each other? On top of that, the wounds are still fresh so it can be easy to misread something and lose your cool. You could also be in needy mode, which can be very bad. You can make another big mistake by repeatedly calling, texting, emailing, instant messaging, etc. your ex. This is called text message terrorism and it is a form of stalking.

Now these three tips aren’t the only reasons people will mess up when attempting to win their ex over. However, they are definitely culprits to the problem. Learn to avoid them and you are well on your way to winning back your ex. Before you know it, life will be good as it was once without all the drama and mayhem.

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5 “Getting Your Ex Back” Guide You Need to Apply

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009

When you want your ex back, it can be hard to do if you have no idea how to begin the process. Just about anyone who has suffered a breakup is going through some sort of trouble just like you are at this moment. However, if you need a little guidance, here are five trouble free tips to help you smooth things out.

Tip (1) – Keep Your Distance

When you breakup with someone, there are a ton of feelings that you have to deal with. What are some of these feelings? They are anger, abandonment, sadness and depression, etc…any of these and more. If you stay away, the chances of you fixing your problems increase. When you don’t back off, you can say hurtful things that you didn’t mean to say or didn’t mean at all. The damage can be irreparable. No contact for a month is best.

Tip (2) – Take Charge of Your Emotions

It’s understandable to feel out of control in a situation such as this but you shouldn’t let it run your life. Don’t stop moving and trying to find the happiness you deserve because someone broke your heart. Instead, get out there again and show your ex what you are made of. Turn those feelings around into something you can use.

Tip (3) – Change How You Feel

Never believe that you can change someone. The only person you can change is yourself. You don’t want to ask too much of your ex if you are trying to win them back. Instead, find the things that you don’t like about yourself and alter them. Work hard to show your ex that you can compromise with him or her. Do what you can on your side of things. If they don’t, then it’s just not meant to be.

Tip (4) – Stay Healthy

It’s so important to remain physically active along with socially active.  When you do, you amplify your self-esteem and your confidence. Get together with friends and loved ones who can help you through those trying times. You may not think you have the strength to but you really do and they can help.

Tip (5) – Create a “Win Back Your Ex” Plan

Never start those “How do you do?” conversations without some formulation of a plan. When you think on your feet with a person who has hurt you quite a bit, you may say the wrong thing. If you don’t know what to say, ask someone to help you. If you want to win back your ex, this plan is going to be a big help.

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3 Tips That Help to Deal with Breakup Emotions

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009

So you recently suffered a breakup? You probably feel crummy about the entire experience. It’s likely you are suffering a bit of depression and feel lonely. It can take an extraordinary amount of strength to get out of bed to face the day but you know you have to do this. You have to find the strength somehow when thinking of wanting to make up with your ex and dealing with the emotions.

If you didn’t know, those feelings are completely normal to have. When you go through a breakup, life can feel like it’s been ripped out from underneath you. You’re probably crushed. Of course, this all means you had to care for your ex to feel the way you do. Chances are… you did.

While it’s completely natural to feel your pain, never let it rule your actions and never it stop you from putting one foot in front of the other to move on with life. Not to say you won’t feel like utter garbage in the first few days even weeks after the breakup, just don’t let the depressing emotions drag you around for so long. Take those hurtful feelings you have and make them into something different. Would you believe that you could use pain to your advantage? How?

For starters, break off any and all contact with your ex. When you are constantly seeing each other, you had more friction to the mess and the gap between the both of you is likely to get bigger. Instead, use this time to work on your issues and be a stronger person. Yes, this no contact rule can help you win your ex back, despite what you may believe.

Secondly, stick with the people who care about you. You’ll find that these are the folks that will love you no matter how bad the situation is. They are wonderful distractions for you to deal with the aftermath. Don’t forget to stay in physical shape as well. When you are healthy in body, you are also healthy in mind.

Third, never turn to illegal substances or alcohol for the easy way out. These never work and tend to make a bad situation worse. These substances typically impair your judgment and you may do things that you normally would not have done such as drunken dialing. When you are working to get your ex back, you should never use these as a way to deal with the pain.

 

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Ignore the No Contact Rule? – Why Damages Can Be Done

Friday, January 2nd, 2009

When your significant other dumps you, it feels as if your heart is ripped out. This feeling is amplified more if they say hurtful things that may or may not be true. This is when you have to stay in control in a time where everything feels out of control. You may start to panic and begin something that can cause you irreparable damage. You didn’t keep the no contact rule you didn’t even realize you are constantly texting your ex when you feel out of control of the situation. The error: text message terrorism.

You may wonder what text message terrorism actually is. It’s a form of communication that is constant and never lets up. In fact, it can be viewed as a kind of harassment. While intentions are good, it’s a method that makes you appear needy, clingy and desperate.

Here are examples of communications people will use. Well, it can occur with a cell phone’s text messaging capabilities. It also occurs with other forms of communications too such as: phone calls, emails, letters, blog posts, voicemail messages, and instant messages and in person. One month no contact rule is too long a period for you, you try to communicate in person with an ex on a continuous basis.

You can probably see why any of these would damage any chances of winning back your ex. You may want to work things out with your ex but constantly trying to contact them will not work. In fact, all it does is to reaffirm that they made the right decision and portrays you as a psycho. You do not want to be depicted as the psycho ex when all you are trying to do is win your ex back. 

Follow the one month no contact rule. What you should do is break off all contact with your ex for about a month. Taking time away from the situation heals open emotional wounds and gives you both the space needed to work through your own issues. If things seem to be going better for you after the month is up, contact your ex to see how they have been. You also don’t want your first phone call to be desperate sounding either.

 

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