Posts Tagged ‘Relationship Breakup’

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Rebound Relationship- Can I Still Get My Ex Back?

Monday, September 14th, 2009

What do I do if my ex finds someone else? Is it too late for me to get my ex back?  Should I just move on even though I’m still in love? The answers to these questions are as follows:

Suppose if your ex finds someone else (especially during the rebound phase of a relationship breakup), it’s likely he/she is just lonely and wanted someone to share their time with. The trial of being single is difficult because you’re used to having someone with you nearly all the time. When your ex is sitting at home alone, he/she is going to feel lonely. This can be a good thing because it means you filled a void when the two of you had been together.

It’s not necessarily too late if your ex is dating again. It’s likely your ex is just dating around trying to find someone suitable to his/her needs. If it looks like your ex is seriously dating someone, it may just be a rebound to fill the void left when you two broke up. It’s not too late if you play your cards right.

Be subtle but be around. Let your ex know you’re happy for him/her, but you can still show your ex what he/she is missing out on. A rebound relationship is often a good way for your ex to get some perspective back. However, if your ex is in a serious relationship again, you should be happy for your ex, isn’t he/she getting what you wanted in the first place: happiness? Only in cases of your ex being in a serious relationship should you move on. However, even if your ex’s new relationship isn’t to the serious point yet, you may want to know how your ex feels before secretly wishing you could ruin his/her new chances.

Take it easy and don’t let your ex’s need for a companion worry you so much. Focus on yourself and who you want to become and you might just become the person you were before when your ex first fell in love with you.

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8 Sure Ways on How to Stop a Divorce

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

Is your relationship suffering a meltdown? Has the word “divorce” cropped up? Did you realize that you don’t want to go through with a divorce and wonder how you can stop a divorce? When you spend years with a person, it can be hard to imagine how you can live without them in your life. It doesn’t matter how many bad times there were; you only know that you can’t wake up without them in your life.  It’ll take some doing on stopping a divorce especially if the damage is intense but… it can be done.

So how do you stop a divorce? Before you know how to stop a divorce, you need to first understand why you want to stop it? Was your spouse abusive to you, either physically or mentally? Did they sleep with someone other than you? The question really is…does your spouse deserve another chance to be with you?

If so, then how do you stop a divorce?

The first step is to invest time and patience into your marriage. If there are children in this marriage, try pawning them off onto someone else to watch. You and your significant other will need to spend quality time away from the children. It’s time to put the relationship first especially if you want to stop a divorce.

The second step is to identify the patterns that you have in your life. Stop for a moment and think if your patterns lead you away from your spouse. Do you rather spend time alone playing the computer than watching television with him/her? What’s behind the exclusion of them in your life?

The third step is to reconnect emotionally. It shouldn’t take a catastrophic event to reconnect with your loved one. When you are sad, you should be able to turn to your spouse and seek comfort. If your spouse is having problems, connect with them on the emotional level.

The fourth step is to find that spark that’s gone missing. It’s the spark that first drew you two together when you couldn’t take your eyes off each other. Try to find ways to touch each other. If your spouse likes a backrub, offer to give one. If you used to take a shower together but don’t anymore, it’s time to start once more.

The fifth step is to stop a conflict before it gets out of hand. You certainly don’t want to bring up all his/her mistakes especially if you want to stop a divorce. Be the better person and apologize first.

The sixth step is to identify and rectify the wrongs you are doing in the relationship. If your spouse is cheating, have you done so or thought about it.

The seventh step is to take time to heal after hurtful words or actions are done. You certainly can stop a divorce but letting time heal all wounds. However, be mindful that it takes more than time to get past any anger feelings.

The last step in knowing how to stop a divorce is to know when to seek outside help. Sometimes couples can’t reconnect issues on their own. If both think the marriage is worth it, then it’s vital that they seek the advice of a marriage counselor.

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How to Get Your Ex to Call You Back

Wednesday, April 1st, 2009

You’ve called her and left messages saying that you’re sorry. You tell her you’ve changed, asking her for a second chance but nothing seems to work to get her to pick up the phone and dial your number.

The trick is making the phone call about your ex, not about you. Two factors weigh in on the chances of your ex calling you back. First, what does she get out of it? Two, why should she call you back?

The first question relates to self-interest (something we all have). She wants to know what she gains from calling you back. Is she just going to get another apology? Another excuse? Another lie?

The second question relates to curiosity. Why should she call back?  She’ll want to satiate her curiosity. You’ve said something that intrigues her and she wants to know why you’ve said that. She’ll call back. Especially if the answer to the why fits under the category of what she gets out of the call.

But what are the right words to ease the phone to her ear and call you back?  Perhaps something like this:

“Hey Stacey, this is Zach. I just wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did. You really helped me. I’d like to thank you in person, so if you give me a call back, that would be great”.

Don’t just call and say this because you just want a call back; you need to mean it. Have a reason to be thankful for what your ex-girlfriend did for you. Perhaps she helped you see something you wouldn’t have seen if you’d stayed together. Perhaps you had a growing experience and you understand her reasons for needing to break off the relationship. She’s going to want to know this for two reasons: it makes her feel appreciated (satisfies the self-interest factor) and she’s going to want to know what she may have done to make you be appreciative of her after you guys are no longer an item (curiosity).

While this shows you’re a sensitive guy and care about your ex, don’t make the call and expect her to call you back until you’re completely ready and honest about what you have to say.

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Do You Still Love Your Ex?

Monday, December 29th, 2008

Handling a relationship break up is never easy, but occasionally a person can be overly confident in their abilities to cope.  They go on with their daily routine thinking they’re not missing the ex, but the truth is they are. This distancing, a known behavior response, offers only temporary pain relief but doesn’t help over the long term. There are definite signs that indicate you could still love your ex, whether you want to admit it or not.

Ask yourself…

Do you often ask yourself where your ex is and what they are doing? Pretty obvious you still think about them.  You wonder how they are dealing with your break up or whether they are spending time with someone else. You could even experience some anxiety when you find out they are dating. These are all signs that you need to move on with life.  Being curious about what your ex is doing is natural, what’s not healthy is becoming obsessed with it. 

Changing Your Timetable

Changing social engagements and work timetables just to check up the ex is not a good sign. You may even have planned to show up at an event where you’re sure to meet your ex. This of course encourages interaction between you and your ex and reminds them of your continued presence. It’s quite likely you’re not consciously aware you are doing certain things, like frequenting restaurants and places you regularly visited together. No matter, changing your timetable because of your ex shows you are still, much too obsessed by them.

Jealous Tactics

Have you talked to particular people or bought yourself a glitzy present to get the attention of your ex? This is a sign of jealous manipulation. You may think you doing it for revenge, but the opposite is true, it’s really a maneuver to attract the attention of your ex.  If you were really over the relationship it wouldn’t matter what your ex thought of you.  Employing jealous tactics just proves you still love your ex and care too much about their opinion.

Be Honest with Yourself

The truth can be brutal but the only way to successfully handle your feelings is to confront them and face the truth head on. Are you still in love with your ex? If they asked today for your forgiveness would you take them back with no real questions asked?  Answer yourself honestly and truthfully. You’re the only one who knows the answer to these questions but you must ask and being honest is important because if you can’t be honest with yourself who can you be honest with?

Still loving your ex isn’t a terrible or horrible thing. The problem arises when you ignore the facts and bury your feelings without dealing with them.  Admitting you still have feelings for your ex is a positive step toward your recovery. Then you can decide whether you want to get back together with your ex or whether you want to focus on getting on with your life. 

 

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What Your Ex Means By “I Need My Space”?

Monday, December 8th, 2008

Have you ever heard your ex say that they need their space? This breakup line is so old school that it may be hard to distinguish if they are telling you the truth or not. Yet, do you know what this means?

For men and women, the line means a separate thing. It can mean different things based on the relationship too. However, it’s usually said when a couple is always together… 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It means that one person in the relationship has to find their identity away from their significant other. It’s a way to get their space without someone being in it.

What Guys Mean By “I Need My Space”

When do guys use this line? It’s typically said when a woman has become needy, clingy or whiny. The bad part about it is that she, herself, may not comprehend she’s become these things. What is acceptable varies from one guy to the next. Many guys like to have some alone time even for a couple of hours. If a woman keeps getting in the way of this serenity, problems can creep up. After some time, it can get too much and make the guy just snap.

What Girls Mean By “I Need My Space”

Why do girls use this line? Much like the man’s issues with a woman, a woman can feel the same way but they can also add the line to many other complex problems. A man may become needy, pushing the woman away from him unintentionally. Yet, women may apply this line to keep from dealing with an underlying issue. Women tend to hide their true feelings, making some men wonder what they did wrong in the relationship to make her suddenly need her space. Find out more information on how to save your relationship by visiting http://www.themagicofmakingup.com

 

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Breakup Survival: How to Get Through the Loss

Friday, December 5th, 2008

Did you have a relationship you thought was going good but it suddenly ended with no warning? You may feel like your heart has just been ripped out of your chest. Many couples go through this sort of tribulation every day. However, there is no reason to let this kind of pain run your life when it happens.

You already know how bad the pain is from how you are feeling. It does sting with the person who you thought would love you forever is gone. Yet, there are ways to get past the gloomy days that seemed to have taken over your life and your daily activities.

It’s important to get off that couch, put down the gallon of ice cream and wipe your nose. When you get to this point after a breakup, it can be difficult to get out of the rut. However, it’s not impossible either. First off, get together with friends who care about you. If you can have fun at the same time, you can get over the pain a bit quicker. Try to remember to smile. It’s quite healthy to do. It makes you feel better at the same time catches the attention of your ex. If you can make them jealous, don’t you feel better?

You shouldn’t contact your ex for a period of a month that way both of you can get past those hurt feelings. If you don’t, the chance of you saying something wrong is likely. You may make a huge mistake by calling your ex during the early morning hours when your drunk by alcohol or high on drugs. Thus it may ruin your chances of reconciliation. Give your ex and yourself the space you need to get back to a normal and healthy disposition. You may come to realize down the road that you aren’t meant to be together and the break up was for the best.

The one thing you need to remember above all else is it is not the end of the world when you are in a breakup. Couples breaking up and reconcile happens all the time. When the pain fades, you’ll be happy about the situation. Your moving forward doesn’t mean you never cared for them. It just means that you aren’t going to let the pain stop you from living.

 

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3 Pieces of Advice to Move past a Break Up

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

Did you know that a terrible breakup can stop your life from moving forward?

Everything in your life goes downhill because you feel lost, lonesome and betrayed by the one person that you thought would always be there for you. Those things you didn’t let bother you before have a tendency to make you feel sad and depressed. You may feel like there is no end to your depression and pain.

However, there are 3 pieces of helpful advice that allow you to turn your pain into happiness and come out on top.

How to move past a break up (1) -

When you go through a breakup, the emotions that you are feeling can vary greatly from confusion to anger to sadness and to depression. Those feelings can make you feel like hurting the person who caused you this sort of pain… your ex. However, if you want the chance to get your ex back, then the best thing for both of you is to have no contact for a period of a month. It may be hard to do but its quite positive for a number of reasons.

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Remember that the feelings you are going through are normal. The thing to remember as well is not to let them control you. It can be easy to do: letting your emotions get the best of you and control your every thought and move. If you don’t want to dig yourself out of a hole then turn to friends for support. They can keep you from feeling even more depressed. Remember it’s not shameful to ask for help when you need it most. You can also stay active and social to keep from feeling like you are in a rut.

How to move past a break up (3) -

Try keeping yourself busy. That’s the best medicine to minimizing the damaging effects of loneliness. Keep yourself busy with all sorts of productive activities. You can also build back up your self-confidence so that you don’t do anything stupid that ruins your chances of getting back together with your ex. Go out with your best friend and have a good time even if the good time has to be forced. Over time, you may find yourself having fun on your own.

While these 3 pieces of advice are just some helpful suggestions, they are a start to help any broken hearted person find a way to get their life back and turn their pain into hope and back to normal life again.  Forget your ex, heal your broken heart and move on now.  

 

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Reasons Why Breakup Happen and How to Fix It

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

There are many reasons why breakups happen. You need to make a choice to do something about it and try to fix it before it becomes permanent. Breakups are known as a situation where life can be permanently altered thus making them very hard to handle.

The feelings of loneliness and pain can cripple anyone. The worse thing about it is that you probably feel if you seen it coming, you might have been able to avert it. You may start looking at the situations on the reasons that could have caused the breakup. Though you may find those problems, you may realize that it’s too late to stop the initial breakup. Even if this is the case, you can still fix them and try to win your partner back.
 
(1)  First reason why break up happen:  Do not show or being too overly loving. For many men, anything resembles the word love after an intimate time together sends them running for the hills. While many women find it sweet, men find it a nightmare. It’s called “pressing the gas way too fast”

Here are some reasons why men run away from their suffocating women:

One type is the overly needy, clingy type that resembles the helpless but love-struck girl; the second type is the controlling, very demanding devil-incarnate who wants to command your every thought.

For guys, neither one is good to deal with and usually sends them ducking for cover. If you have either one of these attitudes, it is best to work on them and hold back these behaviors. Try not to be overly demanding or threatening and give the man some slack. While some men don’t mind a woman who is challenging, others dread it.

(2)  Second reason why break up happen:  Try to keep the relationship from getting boring. When a relationship first begins, the joy of being in love is there. However, over time, you both can take each other for granted and you and your other half just go through the motions of the relationship with a lack of feeling. It’s tragic when a relationship dies out because no one decided to keep it from going sour. Even if the newness wears off, you both should always love to be with one another.

If you notice the relationship in trouble from this sort of problem, you can fix it. First, try to remember what brought you both together. Second, find similar interests and do those together. Love is always there. You both just need to rediscover it.

(3)  Lastly, common reason why break up happen:  Cheating on the person you are with is the single biggest reason people breakup. There’s no reason for cheating. If you don’t love the person you are with, then just don’t be with them. If you do cheat, it makes you a dirt-bag for doing such a thing. It’s frightening to know that both men and women are having a difficult time being faithful to the one they supposedly love. Cheating breaks apart any relationship.

If you want to keep your relationship, just don’t cheat. It’s as simple as that. Yet, should you make the slip and do cheat, some couples have a chance to get over it and past it. However, it is best just to never cheat.

Try to work on your situation and avoid hurting your partner now you know some of the reasons why break up can happen to your relationship.  No matter the issue, some relationships are strong enough to survive most hard handled issues. However, you need to face the problems head on, stop making mistakes and get your relationship back on track. If you want to have a good relationship, you need to have respect for your partner and of course for yourself.

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Using 3 Tips to Get Your Ex to Miss You

Monday, September 15th, 2008

If you have just broken up with the person you love, you are typically faced with a predicament if you want to get them back. How to get your ex to miss you? You know you don’t want to appear needy and it can be risky putting your feelings out on your sleeve. Yet, how can you convince them to give you a second chance.

There are some tips that you can follow but a word of advice: they are a bit manipulative. You’ll be stringing him or her around just like a puppet is. It can work but you are taking a risk. You may jump at this opportunity to not only win back his or her affections but to also cause them the pain you feel.

Manipulative Tip (1) – Leave them alone

You ex may say they want to stay friends with you. You probably think this is a wonderful opportunity to win them back by staying in their lives. However, this is the time you want to do the exact opposite. If you stop the contact or seeing your ex, it gives them the time to miss you. Chances are they still miss you and by staying away, it gives them the opportunity to see how life is like without you. You’ll be on their minds in no time with this idea.

Manipulative Tip (2) – Dress to kill

You should never go into the outside world without looking like a million bucks. This may require some work if you have to get into shape. If you want to improve your self-image, lose those pounds you need or buy some new clothes. The thing you need to remember is to look good all the time. When they see you around the town, it will drive them crazy when you are looking your best.

Manipulative Tip (3) – Now that you look good on the outside, go out to the local hot scenes

Go with friends and have a good time. If you look even half as good as you feel, you are bound to get tons of attention from others. Should this bit of information get back to your ex, you’ll be on their mind again.

Eventually, all the information will be overload and they’ll starting hating themselves for letting you go. When and if they come back, you have total control of the situation. While it doesn’t always work when you want to get them back but it’s really the best choice you have to make compare to doing nothing and feel being the loser. Find out how this website can help you with The Magic Of Making Up.

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Moving On after a Breakup: 5 Things You Need To Be Aware Of

Sunday, September 14th, 2008

If you have been dumped, what is your goal? Do you want to get your ex back or would you rather move on with your life? It can be hard to get past a breakup especially if you were in the relationship for some time. While life may not like bright at the moment, you can get past the hurt, anger and the mess that is left behind. All you need is a little know-how.

There are 5 pieces of advice that helpful in getting past all that.

First, remember to keep moving forward. Don’t let the pain stop you from living your life. Get out of bed and out of the house and remember that life does go on. This is one of the more important things to keep in mind.

Second, don’t think that drugs and alcohol are the way to deal with the pain you feel. Your happiness will not depend on those drugs and may cause you more grief eventually. Not to say that can’t dull the pain but it is only short lived. The pain is still there and once the high is gone, you are back to facing reality. Find more positive distractions to help you past the emotional time.

Third, reduce or eliminate contact with your ex. If you have to see or talk with each other, be polite. However, avoid contact outside work or school. Doing so can help you and your ex find out if you really miss each other.

Fourth, keep in mind that reasons is better than emotion so let reason dominate your thoughts. Your mind can make a better plan than your heart can. If you let emotions rule your actions, it can spell trouble.

Lastly, not all relationships work out so be ready to face this possibility. Try to hold someone to you is very selfish so it is best to move on with your life. You have to know for sure what is best for both of you and if being together isn’t it, that must be kept in mind. 

Sometimes, it can be difficult to move on with your life or get your ex back but you need to be a little patience, and with time and the advice above, you can achieve just that. Here’s a better way for you can move on with your life fast instead of mopping around what had happened.

 

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