Have you recently experienced a devastating breakup? Did you wonder what you could get your ex back? Believe it or not, breaking up is an experience nearly every adult endures at least once in their life. Instead of working to get an ex back, they decide to move forward with their lives without their ex. However, if you want an ex back you do have options. Don’t let a breakup stop you from getting an ex back.

The reality of most breakups is that you do have a chance to win back your ex at least 90 percent of the time. However, you have to know what steps you should and should not take to get an ex back. So what are the steps you should take in order to win back an ex?

First, identify what caused the breakup. Did you do something that the other person faults you for? You can’t hop into the past and change the mistake but you can work to change making the same one and others. That means you must learn from your mistakes and work to make sure they do not happen once again.

Get the specifics on the reason. Perhaps it was a single mistake that you never intended to make such as cheating. Perhaps it was a culmination of mistakes that your ex just no longer could deal with. If you want an ex back, figure out how you can change the situation for the long term.

Second, don’t start pleading your case. Nothing turns an ex off more than their ex turning into a needy person. When you have been with someone for some time, it can be easy to feel like you can’t live without them in your life but simply isn’t true. The best thing you can do to get an ex back is to act like you are fine and be confident with the things around you.

Third, don’t consider making your ex jealous as a way to get an ex back. Trying to use jealousy as a way to get them back can do one of two things:

- It makes your ex believe that you have moved on.
- It can backfire in your face when you are using the person to make your ex jealous.

Let your ex see that you’re all right, strong and self confident without them beside you. By doing this, you work towards the goal of getting an ex back as they feel inspired to work things out with you.

Many people believe that fixing their ex will win them back. However, this isn’t the truth and does no good. The person you should be fixing is yourself and even that is not completely what you should be concerned about. Why?

Relationships that have ended in breakups or divorces have faults that lie on both sides. However, the person that was dumped is usually the ones that will try to fix the huge problems in order to win back their ex. If you have been dumped, you are the person who will be fixing those problems.

You probably look at that and say, “Well, that’s not fair.” You’re absolutely right. If you want to win back your ex, you have to stop worrying with your ex’s issues and worry about your own. What can you do differently or do better at? If you are the one desiring to make the relationship work, then you are the one that’s going to have to work at the problems.

Does this mean you are completely at fault for the relationship dissolving? Not at all. It takes two people to make a relationship work and it takes two people to make it fail. Never believe you are the only one that has to do all the changing. Your ex, if he or she is willing to work it out, will have to make some concessions and changes too. Believe it or not, when your ex sees you trying to make those changes, they’ll want to make changes to their lives as well.

You are the only person that can fix all the problems that you face. When you try to change your ex, you’ll only alienating them further away from you. Be sure you focus on yourself and perhaps, in due time, your ex will be back.